True Story

Find Me Over at Hubpages!

2011-07-07T14:52:00.001-04:00

http://hubpages.com/profile/misstigerash

My Back Hurts

2011-03-28T22:31:00.002-04:00

My back has hurt for a couple months and I am now trying to sleep on my floor to see if my bed is too soft. It hasn't stopped me from working out though!

This is the week of March 21st:

Monday:
1/2 cup 2% cottage cheese w/6 pineapple chunks
2 ind bag sunchips
Pepperjack cheese stick
Porkchop w/bean salad (both Biggest Loser recipes)
6 mini sausages w/6 bites gouda
Workout: 1 mile walk, 1 mile run, 25 mins arms and abs

Tuesday:
Rasp yogurt
Pepperjack cheese stick
Sauteed spinach, grilled asparagus, grilled shrimp, onions, shallots, w/feta and olive oil
Oatmeal raisin quaker chewybar
Nut mix w/soybeans
Mini Turkey biscuit
4 mini sausages w/6 mini chunks gouda
Workout: 1/2mile walk, 1/2mile run, 30 mins legs

Wednesday:

Sauteed spinach, grilled asparagus, grilled shrimp, onions, shallots, w/feta and olive oil

small ziplock of pork rinds
chewy bar
Kind bar (nut and fruit bar)
chicken fingers/fries
boiled pnuts
bunch of beers and bunch rasp martinis.....i'm hurting this morning
Workout: 2 hrs bowling

Thursday:
This was bad because I was hungover and on my period, so I just gave up.

Mcdouble from Mcd's
2 tbs all natural peanut butter
Quesadilla with rice and chips and salsa
1 piece thin crust pizza
3 slices dessert pizza with caramel and nuts
1 cup heath bar ice cream
No workout.

Friday:
Cottage cheese w/pineapple
Hot nut mix with soybeans
1/2 protein bar
10 wings w/blue cheese
Workout: 5.6 miles (ran 1.6 without stopping!! I've never been able to run more than 1/2 mile before--ever! It was amazing)!!

Saturday and Sunday don't count, even though I did try to eat lowcarb. No alcohol, but I went out to eat: Mexican and King Street Grill.

Scale: 129, which doesn't count because like I said, periods make you gain about 5lbs of water and bloat weight....which got me thinking....Does The Biggest Loser take into effect the weeks the girls are on their periods?

Rockin' and Rollin'

2011-03-20T14:56:00.003-04:00

I think I missed a week here or there, but nevertheless, I'm going to put the week of March 14-20th. Let me preface this week by saying that I went to the gym Friday and Saturday before....yehaw!

Monday:
1/4 smoothie w/strawberries, no sugar vanilla yogurt, 1 scoop protein powder
1/2 cup 2% cottage cheese with 2 tbs pineapple
2 pieces beef jerky
Steak stirfry w/broccoli, side of spinach
1 cup Heathbar ice cream
Workout: 6 mile walk (1 burst of running 1/4 mile) on Cooper River Bridge (that's what I still call it, not the Ravenel)!

Tuesday:
Everything bagel w/cream chz and tomato (prob not the best idea, carb load)
9 mini crustless sandwiches from publix tray (Parent night at school and I was starving. And plus they equaled about one real sandwich)
6mini pieces steak
3 crab legs dipped in tad butter
Workout: 2 mile run/walk, 35 mins abs/arms

Wednesday:
Banana
Bag sunchips
Handful almonds
2 chicken fingers, fries, 1 cheese stick, 1 piece of pizza (bowling night and again I was starved)
4 bud lights
Workout: 5 min walk, 20 min elliptical, 30 mins legs/machines, 2 hour bowling

Thursday: St. Patty's so don't judge
1/2 cup chicken salad
7 nachos w/chicken, cheese, jalepenos
10 "chips" w/balsamic vin and blue cheese
5 Miller or Bud lights
Cheeseburger and chicken sandwich from Mcd's
No Workout

Friday:
Half chicken salad sandwich w/salad and kettle chips from Atlanta Bread Company
Mushroom swiss burger with fries (out to din with the fam)
1 Mic Ultra

Saturday:
2 eggs, 2 slices turkey bacon
2 chicken skewers, 2 beef skewers
2 grilled chicken sandwiches w/fries (it was so great until I got drunk and not only ate my grilled chicken sandwich, but Sarah's as well)
4 mimosas, 1 beer w/Grandmarnier, 2 pbrs, 1 miller lite
Workout: ab ripper X

Sunday:
couple bites chicken salad
Glazed pork chop w/green bean salad
rasp yogurt over grilled peaches
(all of these were Biggest Loser recipes)
NO workout

Despite my pitfalls, I've lost another 2 lbs. Your current weight is..........126. However, we have another scale in the house that I weigh more on, but I still lost 2 lbs. So my bathroom scale says 126, my guest bedroom scale says 132. I started out at 135 on my bathroom scale and 138 on my guest bedroom scale. So I either lost 9 lbs or 6. Either way, I'm losing!

Things Are Happening

2011-03-06T16:47:00.003-05:00

I missed the week of Feb 21st, so I'll put that in here first.

Monday: Roast beef and swiss on jalapeno bread w/jalapeno potato chips, handful peanut m&ms, 12 kashi crackers w/Ruth's chicken salad, Whole wheat pasta w/4 beef meatballs, garlic marinara sauce, 1 choc turtle
No workout bc I was super freakin' lazy on the nice day we had and watched tv in bed ALL DAY. I'll make up for it tomorrow, Wed, Thurs and Fri.

Tuesday: 1 cup trail mix (holy shit, I put this in my counter and it was 700 calories, WHAT?!), 1/4 bag of spinach sauteed with salt, pepper and garlic, little bit olive oil
1/4 package edimame, little salt, Low carb pita w/100 calorie tuna ready-to-go packet, Half ind bag of dirty jalapeno potato chips, 1 cup no sugar added, lowfat neopolitan ice cream w/sugar free, fat free caramel syrup
Workout: 1hour body combat class that kicked my ass!

Wednesday: Turkey Reuben from East Bay Deli with potato chips (I ate all the chips, but only 1/2 the sandwich), 1/2cup chicken salad, Handful sunchips, Homemade burger (on a foreman) with swiss chz, mushrooms, lettuce and tomatoes on a 100 cal wheat sandwich thin, Medium sweet potato, 1 choc turtle
Workout: 2 mile walk, 2 mile bike ride, tricep pushups, tricep kickbacks, bicep curls, bicep hammercurls, shoulder raises!!--killing it!

Thursday: BLT on sandwich thin w/provolone cheese, handful sunchips, 5 teriyaki wings & french fries (kickin chicken), Cajun boiled pnuts, Blue chips w/cheese dip, 2 choc turtles
Workout: 2.6 mile walk (half on beach, half on pavement), 2 hour skating

Okay so that week I was all over the place. My workouts were good, but my eating is just whatever.

Have you heard of Tim Ferriss?
He's my inspiration for chronologizing my journey with food and exercise. He's done it all and wrote about it.Tim Ferriss has this one plan that is supposed to get you down to like, 7% body fat. Can you imagine?? SEVEN PERCENT..That's like the rock or those girls from the ab climber infomercials. Amazing. Here's the plan, you eat lean meats, veggies and beans at every meal. You can have calorie free caffeine or water. I started a version of this that is kind of minus the beans, because that's weird and I don't know if I could suffer through beans. I also am kinda making it like just meats, no carbs. I'm playing by his rules, I'm just not incorporating veggies and beans every time I eat meat. John, my boyfriend, says that it's not supposed to be enjoyable, it's supposed to make you look like a supermodel. FINE, I get it. You can have one cheat day a week that does not limit you at all. In fact, you are supposed to gorge yourself so your metabolism has to work hard and that you also get so sick of eating shitty food that you are back on track the next day. Seems simple enough. I started last week....

Monday: 2 eggs w/sprinkle 2% cheese (I'm not supposed to have dairy besides eggs, but my eggs needed a sprinkle cheese, oops), 6 slices oscar mayer maple ham, 5 habenaro almonds, 1/2 bag beef jerky, 100cal starkist tuna salad pack
Workout: 20 mins walk/run (1.5 miles on incline 4), 30 mins abs, biceps, triceps, shoulders!

Tuesday: 2 tomato slices with pesto and mozzarella (60 cals), 9 slices oscar mayer ham (90 cals), 6 sirloin bites w/onions & peppers (250 cals), 1pk salmon w/cup zucchini (300 cals), Handful pnuts & raisins (200 cals)
Workout: 20 min walk/run, 45 mins legs and abs

Wednesday: Homemade hamburger patty 90/20, with ketchup and mustard (210)
10 slices oscar mayer maple ham (75), 5 french fries (ugh bowling alley and starving), 2 kids chicken fingers (this apparently is allowed) (300)
3 Miller Lites (this is not, but I'm also not playing by the rules that I can't drink)(200), 5 buffalo chicken bites (harris teeter) (200), 4 brown rice spicy tuna rolls (harris teeter) (200)
Workout: According to myfitnesspal, 2 hrs of bowling burns 350 calories. I bowled for 3, but gave myself the low-end of the calorie burn...woohoo!

Thursday: 1 piece beef jerky, 1/4 cup chicken salad, 3 slices honey turkey, Homemade hibachi--grilled steak w/peppers and onions dipped in white sauce (only 100 calories per tsp)
Workout: none bc i was depressed that I may not have a job next school year because of loss of grant funding. (Debbie Downer face)

Friday: 2 eggs scrambled w/ 2% cheese, 1 slice turkey bacon, grilled chicken pita w/bacon, cheese, lettuce, honey mustard, Arroz con mescicos (scallops, shrimp over rice with cheesy sauce), Mexican chips, bunches of lite beer
I decided that 24 hrs was a day and I could start my cheating at 9pm on Friday and end at 9pm on Saturday night.

Saturday: CHEAT DAY. Anything and everything: chips, dip, fettuccine carbonara, bread sticks, chocolate, ice cream

Sunday: 2 eggs scrambled, 1 piece turkey bacon, beans & cut up hotdogs, 1/4 cup chicken salad
Workout: 2 mile walk/run

Still taking Adderall, Claratin, St. John's Wart. Stopped taking microgestin. I want to see if that has an effect on my hormones, causes me to hold onto fat.

After the first week of Tim Ferriss's plan, I feel a lot leaner even though my clothes fit the same. After stepping on the scale, it's around 128. I want to stay on this plan for at least 4 weeks to see if it helps. I have one month until the bridge run and my bet with Angela is up. I have to lose more % of body fat than her in order to win my Target gift card. Wish me luck!

Second week, here we go!

2011-02-20T16:21:00.002-05:00

Alrighty...I'm beginning to see definition in my arms. They are still bigger and flabby in the bat wing area than I'd like, but at least I have the motivation to continue.

Monday: February 14
Leftover pad see ew--1/2 cup
Chewy bar
Lowcarb pita w/turkey, 4 slices bacon, swiss cheese, handful chips
1 turtle chocolate
1 cupcake

Workout: 30 min elliptical, weights for arms and abs-30 mins

Tuesday:
Green giant cheesy rice and broccoli
Target yogurt parfait with strawberries, blackberries and blueberries w/almonds
1 cup chex mix
homemade taco salad with lettuce, black beans, 2% kraft cheddar, taco sauce, 1 tsp ranch, 7 blue corn chips.
Workout: 1 hr weights and cardio w/trainer (abs, balance ball, mountain climbers, boxing, leg machines, etc)

Wednesday:
Protein shake w/skim milk
1 piece beef jerky
Luncheon food: 5 pigs in a blanket, 7 meatballs, 1 epinada, 2 mini chicken fingers
Boiling alley food: 1 piece pizza, bunch of french fries
4 Miller Lites

Workout: 3 sets of 12 tricep kickbacks and bicep curls. Weak sauce

Thursday:
2 slices whole wheat bread w/raisins and cranberries (fresh baked from Saffron)
1/2 medium banana
1/2 bag Teriyaki beef jerky
Grilled chicken stuffed w/spinach & goat cheese
6 Kashi crackers w/goat cheese
1 chocolate turtle

Workout: 20 minute run/walk intervals (4 min brisk walk, 2 min fast run), 1 hour weights/machines for legs, butt, and abs!

Friday:
1/2 bag Teriyaki beef jerky
2 slices whole wheat bread w/raisins and cranberries (fresh baked from Saffron)
Appetizer of steak bites w/grilled vegetables
1 tempora fish taco
1 grilled shrimp taco
Movie popcorn w/butter
Bag of lays
Beers, shots, margarita, UGGHHHH
No workout :(

Saturday and Sunday, not much better. Carbs, chips, etc. :(

So in addition to my workouts, I've been taking my regular medicines: Microgestin, Tetracycline, Adderall, St. John's Wart, and Claritin

Weigh-in: 129!!

First Week In

2011-02-15T23:06:00.002-05:00

Okay, here's what I've been eating and doing the past week or so.

Monday: 2 pieces ham, 2 eggs into egg salad w/low fat mayo and mustard, Chewy bar, 2 homemade tacos.
No workout :(

Tuesday: Nature Valley bar, Potato soup and half a turkey and swiss sandwich, 6 slices turkey w/ 1 slice swiss, Handful cape cod chips, Amy's organic veggie lasagna
Workout: 1 hour yoga (but really like 20 minutes bc the instructor talked too much), 15 min run/walk

Wednesday: 2 egg whites w/sprinkle cheddar, 90 cal Special K bar, Small Banana
Low carb pita w/turkey, swiss, and bacon(u can eat 3 pieces for 50 cals), handful potato chips, Starbucks light frapp to-go bottle (bc I needed caffeine and it was right there by the checkout counter--i only drank half)
Workout: 35 mins elliptical, 35 minutes arms and abs

Thursday: Homemade taco salad w/grilled chicken, 2 cups chex mix
Workout: 30 minutes elliptical, 1 hour body pump

Friday: No sugar added vanilla yogurt, chewy bar, tuna tar tar, bunch of alcohol.
No workout :(

Saturday: Lowcarb pita w/bacon, turkey, lettuce, dijon mustard, swiss cheese and I can't remember anything else
No workout :(

Sunday: 2 cups chex mix, Pad See Ew from Basil, 3 fried wontons, 2 beers, 2 glasses champagne
No workout :(

Monday: Leftover pad see ew--1/2 cup, Chewy bar, Lowcarb pita w/turkey, 4 slices bacon, swiss cheese, handful chips, 1 turtle chocolate, 1 cupcake
Workout: 30 min elliptical, weights for arms and abs-30 mins

Tuesday/Today: Green giant cheesy rice and broccoli, Target yogurt parfait with strawberries, blackberries and blueberries w/almonds, 1 cup chex mix, homemade taco salad with lettuce, black beans, 2% kraft cheddar, taco sauce, 1 tsp ranch, 7 blue corn chips.
Workout: 1 hr weights and cardio w/trainer (abs, balance ball, mountain climbers, boxing, leg machines, etc)

Battle of the Bulge

2011-02-09T22:12:00.003-05:00

So for the past 2 years or so I have been increasingly gaining weight. My entire high school and college life I was a size 1 or 2. High metabolism, danced, did gymnastics but liked to drink beer too. Always fit into cute tiny clothes and thought my life would be like that forever.
Flash forward to 26 yrs old and my metabolism took a nose dive and it's been hard for me to not keep gaining weight. I don't know what the culprit is, but here, in this forum, for the next 6 months, I am going to document my weight-loss journey.
As you've seen on shows like The Biggest Loser or Celebrity Fit club, trainers take extremely overweight people and get them down to a healthy weight. This is NOT that type of blog journey. I am healthy. I am at a normal weight.....for most people. For me, this is not normal and I don't feel like myself. So if you can stand it, I'm going to tell you about everything. What I eat, what medications I take, how much I sleep, what workouts I do, and what I drink. You will get it all here. And we'll find out together, what I'm doing wrong, and most importantly, what I'm doing RIGHT.

Come along, won't you?

The STATS: Dec 2010= 130lbs. I'm 5'4, 27 yrs old, and have a body fat index of 26%.

December 2010 is when I decided to get my life back on track. I decided I would start hitting the gym and paying attention to what I put in my mouth.
What I started eating: turkey lunchmeat, 2% cheeses, eggs, turkey bacon, yogurt
Meds: microgestin, tetracycline
Sleep: 9-10hrs a night
Workouts: 1 hr cardio, 3X a week
Drink: diet coke, water, beers on 1 weekend day
Clothes: Size 6 or Medium

January 2011: Scale at home says 135. WHAT?
Eating: low-carb pitas, turkey lunch meat, low fat swiss, roast beef lunchmeat, eggs, turkey bacon, yogurt, salads w/grilled chicken, vin dressing
Meds: microgestin, tetracycline
Sleep: 9-10 hrs a night
Workouts: 1 hr cardio/1 hr strength 4 X a week
Drinks: diet coke, water, beers on 1 weekend day
Clothes: Fit the same

Which brings up to February 2011: Scale says 137. ARRRGGGHHHH
Eating: low-carb pitas, yogurt, deli lunch meat, bacon and eggs, nuts, beans
Meds: microgestin, tetracycline, adderall
Sleep: 8-9 hrs a night
Workouts: 1 hr strength, 30 minutes cardio 3X a week
Drinks: diet coke, water, beers on 1 weekend day
Clothes: Fit the same, shirts becoming tight.

Now once or twice a week I stray from the so-called "healthy" eating. I'll have a hamburger or a mexican dish.

So here you have an idea of what I've been doing. I'm going to start posting my daily food and workout regime. I'll tell you what I've changed or the "theory" I'm pushing. February is going to be lean meats and veggies month, mixed in with some metabolism boosters. Wanna see what happens? Stay tuned my friends.

A Tribute to Kingsley

2010-05-10T22:23:00.002-04:00

If you haven't had the pleasure, I suggest you hurry on over to Youtube and check out Kingsley He loves to bitch and complain and guess what? so.do.i.

If you know me at all then you know one of my favorite pastimes is to bitch. and judge. And if I get to bitch and judge in the same day, then my friends, that is a good day.

Random Bitches:

People I'd like to Duel:
1. Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina Lohan. She's also on a list I call "worst mother in the world" and guess what...... She's the only one on that list.
2. That crazy tanned boobied lady on the Real Housewives of Orange County that doesn't discipline her kids.
3. Paris Hilton. Do I need to explain this one?
4. Drivers that pull out in front of you and then go under the speed limit.
5. Neighborhood parking police

I think the whole entire reason for reality shows is for me to judge others. And I don't like anything more than to judge the Real Housewives of NYC/New Jersey/Atlanta/Orange County.

I hate:
1. When people don't delete unflattering pictures of me from their digital cameras. And then proceed to tag me on FB.
2. When people think that their phone is better than mine. It's not. It never will be.
3. When you wash pants and they shrink up in the dryer and make you feel fat when you try to put them on.
4. When you pick up something "diet" or "healthy" at the grocery and then it has 21g of sugar. That is not healthy.
5. When you can't find a ripped copy of workout videos on youtube.
6. When you are trying to relax at the neighborhood pool and someone has a text alert that is an entire song that plays FIFTY times in 2 hours.
7. When there isn't a Starbucks 50 ft from wherever I am at all times.
8. When people post trite status updates on their Facebook profiles.
9. When people also post their entire life stories on their status updates. Literally everything they did that day.
10. When people misspell on their twitter updates.
11. When people are in a serious meeting and don't speak proper English.

What I Think About New Moon

2010-03-24T18:08:00.002-04:00

I have not read Twilight. I have not seen the Twilight movie. I did however, with my boyfriend and his roommate, watch New Moon last night. Although I didn't see the original movie, this did not matter. Nothing happened in this movie that needed a preface. Here are my thoughts.

-Team Jacob all the way. The biggest thing that happened in this movie were his abs.
-The entire movie is one big cock tease. They almost kiss, they almost fight, they almost leave, they almost die. THEY ALMOST MAKE A MOVIE.
-Edward is gross. His skin is gross, his body is gross, his face is gross. He's just not attractive.
-The movie didn't DO anything. Nothing actually happened in this film. Please tell me what happened, bc nothing actually happened. Oh yeah, wait, the black vampire died.
-I was looking forward to Dakota Fanning being a badass bitch. Oh look, she had 2 lines and stared at Edward for 1 minute, 3 seconds. Scene over. That was it? That's all she did?
-Anna Kendrick's character was the funniest, most personable in the entire movie. I could have gone with an entire movie with her character and Jacob. His abs and her sarcasm=win.
-Why are the secondary characters the only ones I care about? I could give 2 shits about Bella and Edward. They suck. Why do they like each other? Is it their boringness? Totes. They were equally boring. Made for each other. But I don't need an entire movie about their boringness.

Return the Favor: Book for Teachers or Educators

2010-03-09T15:41:00.006-05:00

If any of you are my friends, you should have bought my mother's book already. For those of you who haven't, it is a great teacher resource. It is a full color book chock full of ideas for the classroom that can be used for any grade level.
Here is a sneak peek inside:
For a better preview CLICK HERE You can purchase her book for $20 on www.looneyteachr.com or by clicking this link

About the author: A 25-year teaching veteran with a Master’s degree in Learning
Disabilities and National Board Certification in Adolescent Social Studies, Cary Nadzak has taught an array of subjects ranging fromworld history to algebra. For the first 23 years of her career, she taught at R.B. Stall High School in North Charleston, South Carolina, where she was chosen as a model classroom teacher, a 2005 teacher of the year, and a Charleston County top-ten finalist. Ready for a new adventure, she
signed on as a Fort Dorchester High School Patriot in 2007 and taught in their social studies department. She currently serves as a Social Studies High School Interventionist for Dorchester Two Schools. Ms. Nadzak has collaborated with high-school educators in designing common course syllabi and curriculum programs. Her best-practices workshops for high-school faculties and at High Schools That Work conferences have held standing-room-only crowds. As a South Carolina
State Teacher Specialist, she mentored new and veteran teachers while
modeling engaging classroom strategies. With this new book, and others
in the works, she hopes to share these strategies with you.

It's a Miracle

2010-03-03T14:00:00.002-05:00

I ordered bathing suits from Victoria's Secret. They came in the mail and the most amazing thing happened. THEY FIT!

11am: 1 cup whole wheat cheese tortellini with Parmesan cheese

2pm: handful of multigrain pita chips

4pm: glazed donut. ( i know, i know but they were having a fundraiser at school)

8pm: 1 cup whole wheat cheese tortellini, 2 pieces reduced fat garlic bread...couple bites of John's lobster ravioli.

9pm: 4 thin mint cookies

OMG

2010-03-01T20:55:00.002-05:00

For serious, I was so bad this weekend that I'm not even reporting what I ate.

So for today:

1130am: 4 thin mint girlscout cookies

1pm: handful of cheddar rice cakes

4pm: light popcorn, 2 mini cheddar cheese sticks

7pm: Carrots with spicy ranch

Skinniness here I come!

Enough Taylor Swift

2010-02-26T14:42:00.002-05:00

Ok. I love Taylor Swift. I think she's cute and funny and I do get You Belong With Me stuck in my head on a regular basis. So now that we have that out of the way, let me say.

Enough Taylor Swift.
enough fairytales,
enough love story,
enough white horse,
enough princesses,
enough princes,
enough your parents don't agree,
enough dancing in the rain,

If I have to hear one more Taylor Swift song about love stories or fairtales.................. If you USE the word love, fairytale, riding off into the sunset, kiss, story, princess, prince, happily ever after then throw that sheet of paper away and start the song over.

Food Diary Day 4, oivey

2010-02-26T14:21:00.002-05:00

Ok let me preface this by saying I am not staying on track. I'm all over the place.

11am: 2 Detox pills (these are apparently loaded with caffeine so I've been taking them in morning/afternoon instead of night)

1230pm: Chicfila 8 ct chicken nuggets with fries and 3 chicfila sauces

2pm: 2 Detox pills

630pm: handful of mini rice cakes

8pm: 1 mini kitkat

10pm: chicken alfredo pasta

Wednesday and Thursday are the WORST days for eating, bc I get home from class around 10 and am starved. And then I ate my roommate's leftovers which included enriched white flour. uhoh.

Food Diary Day 3

2010-02-25T13:05:00.003-05:00

Ugh, I felt sick today. It might have to do with the fact that I had to be up at 7am to observe a teacher at Moultrie Middle. Well this screwed up my day.

715am: 2 Detox pills

730am: 1 waffle with peanut butter (carbs=ew, peanut butter=energy)

10am: handful of pretzels (oh no more carbs)

1230pm: 1 mini bag doritos from vending machine (fat, carbs, FAT)

2pm: 2 detox pills and a nap

4pm: uhoh I don't feel good. Migraine, stomach nausciousness

830pm: 1/2 whole wheat pizza with turkey pepperoni, grilled chicken, olive oil, 2% mozzarella, tomatoes & spinach

Drinks: Diet mt dew, 3 waters.

I wouldn't say that today was a good path to follow......but I did do some videos from Netflix instant queue in the workout genre....for about 20 minutes.

Food Diary Day 2

2010-02-23T22:46:00.002-05:00

Ok here we go!

11am: 2 Detox pills

11:30am: 1/2 Jimmy Dean's Delights Breakfast Bowl (lots of protein, but way too much sodium, felt really bloated afteward)

2:30pm: 4 Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies and 1 simoas Girl Scout Cookie

645pm: 12 sushi rolls with crab, shrimp, mayo and spicy sauce, low sodium soy sauce

8pm: 2 Detox pills

Drinks: 2 glasses water, 12oz diet mt dew, 1/2 Sappora Beer

This day I felt really bloated bc of all the sodium. Sushi was also made with white rice and the soy didn't help.

Will be better tomorrow. Also didn't work out. boo.

Food Diary

2010-02-22T23:16:00.002-05:00

So this week starts the crackdown. I'm starting a food diary and will keep track of what I eat, with a general description of calories/fat/sodium/protein. Today I started Jillian Michael's 14 day Detox & Cleanse.

Day 1: Monday, Feb 22
10am: 2 detox pills

1030am: 1/3 Homemade pizza on whole wheat dough (high fiber, low carbs) with turkey pepperoni, tomatoes, spinach, 2% mozz cheese, grilled chicken and olive oil

330pm: handful of pistachios

6:30pm: 2 detox pills

7pm: 1/3 Homemade pizza on whole wheat dough (high fiber, low carbs) with turkey pepperoni, tomatoes, spinach, 2% mozz cheese, grilled chicken and olive oil

1030pm: 1 pickle spear with splenda

I have to say, I felt a lot less bloated today. I drank 3 glasses of water and 1 diet coke all day too. Drinks count.

Inspiration:

Valentine's Day and Lent

2010-02-17T15:49:00.004-05:00

Do not go see Valentine's Day. I walked out. That is all on that subject.

Although I am not Catholic, my family celebrates Lent. The 40 day period in which you give up something to prove you are cool. Well for the sake of blashphemy, I usually give up nothing. Because if there is nothing to cheat with, I'm more likely to stay on the righteous path. I even tried to think of something easy to give up, but nothing came to mind. Isn't the point of living a godly life, is to enjoy things? And the things I enjoy aren't necessarily bad for me. I could give up beer, but I have 2 6packs of my favorite sitting in my fridge. Plus, come Easter, I would be drunk off my arse. And that's not very christian like. Unless you are one of the hundred million Christians who drink. I met a lot of Christians in AA. (that was a court ordered appearance. Crap, am I digging a deeper hole?) So basically, I'm just saying that I'm giving up Lent for Lent this year. Hey, it's not in the rule book that you can't

Working Out (or lack thereof)

2010-02-15T16:45:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I will get in a workout mood. I just really really wanna feel that burn and air suckage out of my lungs. Usually when I get in this mood, I'll peruse Youtube and find workout videos that I can do in my room. And I'll spend a good 20-25 minutes watching videos, writing down what to do and getting all excited. After all this writing and watching skinnier, prettier, healthier people show me what they do 3x a week mixed with a sensible diet, I'm tired. Just watching these women kick, jump, burpee, and run in place makes me feel like I, in fact, kicked, jumped, burpeed and ran. I am actually satisfied with myself after this. Like a weirdo that doesn't get that I live in the real world, not the vicarious one. I'll even gulp down a 20 oz water and say "wow, that was good".WTF is wrong with me? And then after this, I decided to write a blog about it. So now, maybe I will in fact do what I wrote down and actually be sweaty instead of imaging being sweaty.

Zombieland

2010-02-03T13:39:00.002-05:00

I saw this movie in the theater and really liked it. I was surprised because I don't do scary. I don't watch horror films and I especially don't like flesh eating usedtobe humans. But this looked funny so I decided to take my chances. Now, there were some gross parts, but all in all it was hilarious and wasn't THAT gory.

Well last night @ 10pm John and I decided to take a trip to Walmart to purchase this bad boy and watch it again. At midnight I drove home on a desolate highway in the fog SCARED AS SHIT. The best thing to do after watching a zombie film is to drive home alone..in the dark...with no signs of humans.

Now you are thinking zombies aren't real, so there is no solid threat. Well in the movie, the disease spread from really bad meat. And I do not underestimate really bad meat. Mad cow disease anyone? Who knows what that could turn you into? Perhaps a blood thirsty cannibal. Fo 'sho.

So my advice to you is: watch Zombieland... at home.... and then don't drive anywhere. Especially in the midnight hour.

Do Not Adjust Your Screen

2010-01-14T00:13:00.002-05:00

Yes, this is a post coming from 2010. I have some big news. But this is news that people probably announced a decade ago. I, me, this person here, has JOINED NETFLIX! Yes, netflix, the movie order service that was established in 1997. So what, I'm 13 years behind. (omg 1997 was 13 years ago. I went to highschool in 1997. HOLY CRAP)

Well, what prompted my Netflix membership? I'm taking ENGL 560: Film Studies, as part of my Masters program. And each week I have to watch a movie and then write about it. Aren't you curious what I have to see? Ok here we go.

Way Down East
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Battleship Potemkin
Modern Times
Citizen Kane
Open City
Stagecoach
The 400 Blows
Weekend
Vertigo
Rear Window
Do the Right Thing

I'm looking forward to Citizen Kane and Do the Right Thing. So each week I watch a movie, do 3 readings and then write a paper about it. Oh school, how I haven't missed your writing.

p.s. I'm the smartest kid in class. Like you didn't know.

Have You Missed Me?

2009-12-28T15:08:00.002-05:00

It's been, oh 4 months since I've last graced my Blog? I am so sorry for the delay. I guess I haven't really had anything of huge importance take over my life or embarass myself to the degree in which I would need to vent about it.

Things of note:
-Coordinating an after school program at a middle school
-Have made exactly 2 new friends this year.
-In my second semester of grad school--Masters of Arts in Teaching
-My collection of fingernail polishes has exceeded 50.
-Moved into my own new townhouse on Daniel Island.
-Discovered an addiction to Bojangles Cajun Chicken Filet Club Sandwich
-Got rear-ended and kept the $$
-Hated someone, loved someone, fell in love, fell out, hated again, fell again and back around the block twice more.
-Watched as most of my graduating class has gotten married and had kids via Facebook.
-Vomitted in my car
-Enjoyed the Holidays.
-Got a personal trainer. Haven't lost a lb, has only been a week.
-Made a holiday contribution to the armed forces
-Had my car cleaned
-Found a new hatred for red heads. And I've primarily always hated redheads. This was fueled and accepted by my love Holly
-Missed all my friends from out of town. Still miss you.

Baby, You're Gone

2009-09-10T18:03:00.003-04:00

If my friends don't come back to me, I'm going to cease to exist. (this is the post where I use theasaurus.com for everyday words.)

My 2 best friends: Amy & Holly decided to defy God and all that is holy to move away from Charleston (not that Amy ever truly lived here, but it works with the story). So my best girl friends are what I'd like to call completely awol from my life (as it pertains on a daily basis). Sure, we have a text/email/facebook/gchat relationship (which is quite effective btw), but when I want to hang out or have a mere defecating myself accident at Tsunami surrounded by guys and a gay and really need someone to walk next door to the Pavillion Hotel because it has private bathrooms with me, they aren't there. They aren't physically here. Which hurts my heart. How is my unborn child going to play with their asian babies (minus Holly, unless she adopts and/or finds a guy she can stand or is tall enough and also happens to be asian, which less face it, ain't gonna happen)?

So I propose to move and/or abduct them from their current residents and bring them to be with me. muuuuhhahahahhahaa.

watch out.

Fatty Pants

2009-08-23T21:57:00.004-04:00

So I'm all about losing some weight. I've been a little bad over the summer. I mean REAL bad. Fast food is becoming the staple for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And what was once a workout routine has now become eating Sunchips on the couch with Trueblood. Not good for the body. So now that I have a free gym membership (thank you ESAC), I feel I should get up and get moving. And maybe stop eating out so much. It's not that I even enjoy those crispy fries anymore--believe me, I hate myself while I'm doing it. And the fact that I'm mainlining peanut M&Ms as I type this probably isn't helping. But as much as I want to lose 3 lbs like Regina George, I do not, will not and never want to LOOK LIKE THIS. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Useless

2009-07-30T18:07:00.002-04:00

A bachelors degree these days is about as useful as a used piece of crumbled up toilet paper on the bottom pile the day after a frat party on a game weekend. Graphic and totally true. With the layoffs, hiring freezes and complete emotional toll companies are putting on us these days, people are having to take jobs they are extremely over qualified for. Take Verizon Wireless. I worked with people that had 2 masters degrees, owned their own businesses, or were ex military. If you have any of these qualifications, much less just went to college, there is no way you should ever have a title called "Customer Service Representative". This is for people who couldn't pass the french fry machine test at McDonald's. Not for someone who not only got accepted, but graduated from an institution with a 20% acceptance rate. The best we can do in these times is either accept our fate of being a college educated toilet bowl cleaner(not it) or go back to school. So grad school, here I come. Let's pray they accept me.

Chicfila Sauce=Stimulant Drug?

2009-07-27T22:53:00.003-04:00

Is Chic-fil-A sauce actually laced with crack? Or is it crack itself mixed with the most delicious honey and mustard ever created by man? I'm not sure what's in crack..so I googled it and its something to do with baby powder and cocaine, or AMMONIA. As in the cleaning agent. Whatever geniuses thought of this must, uh, have been smoking, uh crack.......

But anywho. I've heard from the Chapelle show and certain window washers that crack can be addictive. Who knew? Well guess what else is addictive, f'n Chicfila sauce. That's its name. It's not honey mustard by chicfila, no its actual name is chicfila sauce and I can barely go a day without speeding up to the beautiful drivethru and shouting my delectable order through the scratchy receiver to have the most gorgeous voice ask me what sauce I'd like. And the moment I get to say back "chicfila sauce please..alot. and by a lot, I mean at least 3 packets". I honestly start having a coronary when John doesn't ask for it upfront, because I'm literally scared they may not have any by the time the order comes up and if only we asked for it first. I think this is the best invention of the 21st century besides Chelsea Handler...and I LOVE Chelsea Handler.

I'm Not Meant For This World

2009-07-15T21:59:00.002-04:00

My aspirations in life center somewhere around the following: naming fingernail polishes, having HBO pick up my life for a show, facebook stalking, making up new curse words, reading celebrity gossip, calling my laptop a gaytwad, not doing laundry, showering with new shampoo, and making out. If maybe I could combine all these things into a successful career, I would be a happy camper. But it just seems like I can't find a living doing anything I enjoy. I'm too smart for the job I possess, but not experienced enough for the jobs I want. I, am, just, not, meant, for, this, WORLD.

Buy My Stuff

2009-07-14T21:23:00.002-04:00

www.youravon.com/ashleyroe

All Avon products you need. Thanks!

Little Pick Me Ups

2009-05-28T20:30:00.002-04:00

Everyone has something they do at the end of a long hard day to forget their troubles and drift off into dreamland. For instance, I light up my crackpipe and Whitney Houston myself into oblivion 5 minutes after driving off the VZW parking lot. But for other non intravenous* drug users, it may be a cigarette or light beer perhaps. But other than the aforementioned narcotic, I love fingernail polish. Any time I'm down and out or pissed off or had a long day, a $3.98 bottle of electric fingerpoison can cheer my right up. And today while at Target returning a godforsaken shirt, my feet were cramping from the heels I had on and all I wanted to do was get the hell of there, shower and head over to my bf's house to watch TrueBlood. But I knew that if I stopped on by the old trusty Cosmetics aisle I would find a treat with my name on it. Oh and I did, "Color me Coral" was her name and she became mine. It will only be a matter of time before we're picking out china.

*i dont think crack is an intravenous drug, I just like the word intravenous. INTRAVENOUS!

Why My Boobs Are Awesome

2009-05-26T19:52:00.003-04:00

and should be shared with the world by Regina Filangi. Let's face it, my boobs are awesome. And if you haven't had the pleasure then I sincerely feel badly for you. Because they should be listed as a national treasure. Now, these aren't perfectly sculpted specimens of exact proportion, slope or even cup size. Oh no my dear friend, they are far from perfect, which is what makes them amazing. The left is bigger than the right and I have wandering nipples from time to time depending on the weather, day or amount of attractive men in the room. But this doesn't matter you see, because they bring joy to whomever gets w/i 5 feet of them. I have a friend that once described them as "always happy to see me" or "crazy perky" and my favorite "bundles of joy". So even though one may be bigger than the other and bras can't decide if they are a B or C, they truly are the gifts that keep on giving. And sometimes I have a problem keeping them in my shirt because I feel everyone who wants to be part of this amazingness should have the chance. I don't think one college friend has not seen them at any point in time. Hell, any girl at the gym will see them in the locker room. But I've been told putting my boobs on display to everyone and their red headed step children is "lewd" "slutty" or "distasteful". I had to google each one of these words because I have not been previously privy to such language. And I can tell you good sir, spreading the mountainlove* is neither of those things. If anything, it's a symbol of world peace. And I'm going to spread that world peace all down I-26.

*Mountainlove is a coined phrase by Regina Filangi and cannot be used without the written consent of the aboveformentioned party.

This Is Why Motel=Death

2009-05-18T19:58:00.002-04:00

I have a rule. It's been my rule for a couple years now. I don't stay at MOTELS. If it doesn't have one entrance and one exit to the building, I ain't staying there. Now I say this even though the mean price to stay at this so called "hotel" is around $150/night, which is about $150 over my budget. So for my birthday I decided to get the hell out of dodge to somewhere---anywhere away from Charleston. Sunset Beach was the original destination for fun in the sun except for that God hates birthdays and decided to rain down on the East Coast. So Asheville it was...mountainous--away from the coast....possibly sunnier? WRONG. But that's not the point of the story now is it? The point of the story is, that my broke ass booked a Days Inn in Candler, NC, about 6 miles from downtown Asheville. Drive up..so far so good. Go into room, so far so good even though I had to enter my room from the outside metal staircase. Friday night--so far so good--shower in working condition, no babymaking stains yet to be seen and even 5, count them FIVE large pillows. From the looks of it, Broke Roe is doing alright. Fast Forward to Saturday morning 9am. Pee, brush teeth, decide to hit up the continental breakfast buffet. Turn on the tv to check the weather and BAM like section 8 housing, my tv gets turned off. Then the lights. Then the water. Then the phone line. NO F'N POWER for 2 hrs. We call customer service. This is how that encounter went. "Thank you for calling Days Inn customer service, this is Dan" "Hi Dan, we are staying in a Days Inn in Asheville, NC and our power has been out for the past 2 hrs as well as the water and the phones. We haven't been able to take a shower or even go the bathroom" "ok" silence...."ok and what do you want me to do" "I want you to tell me what to do about this" "Well there is nothing I can do, I can't turn the power back on" WTF. Yes sir, I called bc I want you to take your headset off, get in your car, drive to Asheville, pull out your tool belt and fucking put the power back on. For fuck's sake. Getting my money refunded was the easiest thing I've ever done, save for rolling over in bed. Moral of this story...Motels=death. Ok maybe death was exaggerated but it certainly=FAIL.

Are You Allergic To Thongs?

2009-03-30T09:11:00.002-04:00

Seriously. Why do girls seem to be allergic to wearing underwear that don't show in tight pants? At work, at Walmart, downtown, at a bar, grocery store, football game, walking down the street, I say to you, WTF. If you have to shimmy your pants on 1. you prob shouldn't be wearing them in the first place 2. If you insist on wearing them, don't try to shove your $1.99 Big Lots sale rack granny panties into them along with your blubber. If I can see your underwear lines, there is pretty good chance that I'm also contemplating suicide. No one wants to see that. Really, NO ONE.

Things Are Happening

2009-03-17T00:18:00.003-04:00

-I work at Verizon Wireless
-I moved out.
-I started an air guitar band that has one member.
-My front left tire is slowly dying.
-I'm currently in search of a bed.
-I just filed my taxes
-I've been missing my mom lately even though she texts me 25 times a day.
-Karma likes to put pimples on my face
-I really want a diamond right hand ring
-I drank boxed wine tonight
-My bank account is rapidly being depleted.
-I youtubed "screaming at cats" which is probably the best decision I've ever made.
-I've been using a stairmaster...yeah for about 4 minutes.
-I finally got a new cell phone! Samsung Glyde
-I'm officially over the Samsung Glyde...touch screens are OVERrated.
-It's past my bed time.

Way to Pay Attention

2009-02-18T21:46:00.005-05:00

Since Julyish of 2008, we have stored 2 beach chairs in the walkway from our apartment to the next apartment. They have not moved in 8 months. That's almost a baby. And I come home today to find a note that states the following..."VIOLATION The location of these personal items is in violation of the Declaration of Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions. Please remove them or they will be removed for you" Obviously they didn't find these for EIGHT MONTHS. It wasn't that big of issue until now? Why is that? And why is it that this f'er can park his truck in his boat spot while he's on his boat so his spot will be saved when he returns. Oh ok, so that is ok? Or what about the 14 year olds that sneak into the pool area and take up ALL the chairs and don't know any members? Or the people that let their dogs shit all over the tennis court?
I think that is more important than my damn beach chairs hidden behind a separation. F the HOA.

Movies That Suck: Another Picture Story

2009-02-15T22:26:00.003-05:00

Catch 22

2009-02-13T18:18:00.002-05:00

By "Going Green", companies have actually unintentionally made other industries fail. Like who you ask?

-Dunder Mifflin. Paper companies don't make money if you aren't printing off emails. And what happens when struggling writers don't write things down and then ball up the paper of ideas?

-Trash picker-uppers. They won't get paid if they have nothing to pick up off the ground.

-Energy conglomerates. If you aren't running your A/C all day and taking 45 minute showers (powered by gas), then you don't support your local cooperatives.

-Water company: shutting it off when you brush your teeth just cost little Johnny's Christmas.

-Scientists who try to fix global warming--what will they study now asshole?!?!

-Bottled water firm: Oh great, use the same nalgeen bottle over and over. GREAT. f'in GREAT.

-Look what you did to GM. They can't even afford to fly their private jets anymore now that you've started riding your bike to work you thoughtless bitch.

Just think before you try to "save our planet"

Completely Ridiculous, yet Totally Necessary I guess.

2009-02-12T20:43:00.004-05:00

An ambulance being jump started.

Why I Hate People: A Story Told Through Pictures

2009-02-10T23:39:00.008-05:00

He's Just Not That Into You Shouldn't See It

2009-02-09T11:28:00.003-05:00

Wow. What a horrible movie. If you take every single stereotype of a lonely, pathetic girl and a horny man, you have a movie called He's Just Not That Into You. First, the premise is complete and total common sense.
1. If he's not calling you.....
2. If he's not sleeping with you....etc.
That makes total sense, what girl actually thinks if a guy is not calling her that he's A. busy B. on vacation C. out of town on business D. lost her number E. is scared of her success blah blah blah. But the movie housed a good number of actors/actresses that I like, so I figured it would be cute and I'd give it a try. uh, what a waste of time.
The following 3 things are inevitably what will happen if you go see this.
1. You will hate Scarlett Johanson's character
2. You will yell "whore, slut, idiot, loser, is he serious, what is her problem, who does that, who says that, i can't believe i paid $7 for this, oh no, why is she even in the movie, that never happens, unrealistic, oh so cheesy, really?!?!
3. You will hate that this will probably give unrealistic hope to girls everywhere and thus not helping anyone.

Go see a movie that matters, like Slumdog Millionaire (saw it twice), or rent a critically acclaimed film.

15 Things

2009-02-06T12:44:00.002-05:00

15 things I could never give up.

-Chapstick
-Peanut butter
-Freebasing
-A fireplace
-Mascara
-Arson
-DVR
-The Office
-Brownies
-Grand Theft
-Driving
-Shopping
-Stalking
-Youtube
-Michael Phelps

(Some of these may or may not be things I've done......I can't divulge that info)

Advice List

2009-02-03T13:55:00.003-05:00

* Always check for boogers

* Pay the extra for a good colorist.

* Don't let others make you feel guilty about hating someone. World Peace is overrated. How boring would it be if everyone liked each other? If you don't like someone, who cares? Forgiveness is also overrated.

* Get a dog.

* Plot your revenge.

* The name brand eyeshadow is worth it.

* Walk to the store.

* Read "What is the What" by Dave Eggers

* Cheer loudly for your team.

* Have sex, a lot.

* Own your weaknesses.

* Watch How I Met Your Mother

* Blare Flo Rida

* Take loooong naps in the middle of the day.

* Upgrade your cell phone.

* Brush your teeth more often.

* Make things messy.

* There's nothing wrong with having $1 in your savings. (or none)

* Take time to do absolutely nothing.

* Drive like you have to poop...really badly.

* Eat whole grains.

* Never say never.

* It's ok to love Kayne because he IS egomaniacal.

* Fall in love with Chelsey Handler.

* Every once in a while, blow $5 on a latte at Starbucks.

* It is fine to pirate music.

* Get netflix. Totally worth it.

* And Tivo.

* And a 50" HDTV

* Don't try to take your measurements with a carpenter's measuring tape.

* Check your pants before leaving the house.

* Wink at strangers.

* Being a couch potato is underrated.

* Trim often.

* Wear a scarf, just in case.

* Be picky.

* Fuck the lemons and bail.

What I'm Doing To Stimulate The Economy/Environment

2009-02-02T22:14:00.006-05:00

It is no secret that the national debt is around, let's say 100 trilliongazillionmilliion. Dollars. And my part in that is about...half. So it is my duty as a citizen of this fine country to turn this economic crapshoot around. And let's not forget about Mother Earth. She's a dirty bitch in need of a nice hot bath. So here is a list of things I'm doing to contribute.

1. Still buying things from Target that are 75% off. The store just keeps adding new things to this rack.

2. When I buy a dress, shirt, or something that comes on a hanger, I decline to take the hanger with me. This way, they don't have to buy new hangers to hang new merchandise on. I am saving the company money, therefore they will not have to lay off workers. I think I just saved someone's job. GO ME!

3. If I go somewhere and they ask if I would like a copy of my receipt, I decline. They don't print it out and wa-lah, a forest just got saved. I'm like Jesus.

4. I also don't put my bought sh*t in a bag if it's less than 5 items. I just throw that stuff in my purse, thus saving the bag from going into the landfill, thus I just saved a layer of ozone. You're Welcome Al Gore.

5. Sometimes I don't flush the toilet til like, the 3rd time I've peed. (and I pee a lot, so that is a lot)

6. Adam leaves the light & tv on for the dog (I know right, a DOG), and I go behind him and shut it off.

7. I try to buy organic whenever it is feasible/affordable. I support my local farmers damnit.

8. Even though we don't pay for water, I still shut it off while brushing my teeth. And we all know I don't do anything unless it benefits me directly..... ;)

9. I try to take as many showers with as many people as possible.........save H2O.

10. 1 of every 5 beers opened in the world is a Bud Light. I help with that every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

11. I don't pick up my dog's poop. Here's why that's beneficial....it is free fertiliser. Plus I'm not wasting a doggie bag and throwing that away and leading to environmental bedlam.

12. Since I've been unemployed for the last 2 months, I don't drive much. (This will change starting Feb 12th)

13. My bank, cell and all other account statements are emailed to me instead of coming to me via Postman. Damn, another tree saved.

14. I shop online a lot, which means I'm boosting online revenue and saving gas from driving to stores, and helping out UPS! I really am amazing.

15. I buy a lot of store brands to boost sales. This may or may not be because it's cheaper and that helps me out more, but let's just keep that to ourselves. shhhhhh.

An Open Letter To/About Target Cosmetics Section

2009-01-27T13:46:00.004-05:00

Usually when I'm irritated I bitch to Amy or Sarah or Holly or better yet Adam who kind of just keeps doing what he was doing with occasional nods in between. This pet peeve however, I must bring mainstream.

Target makeup. As in, makeup designed especially for Target by the following people: Sonia Kashuk, Boots, Pixi, and Jemma Kid. I say this with all due respect, WHAT THE FUCK.
Jemma, let me ask you a question....if I have to shop at Target for a matte compact case, do you think I can afford $18 eyeshadow??? WTF. $22 eyeliner...really?? $36 face palette..holy shit. Know your demographic. Because I'm sure if I go to Target to get Charmin toilet paper on sale buy one get one free, 2 for $7 Pepsi, Orange Juice $0.50 off, I can guaran f'in T you that I don't have $20 to spend on a damn eyeshadow. Does this brand do well? I'm just curious what their sales figures are. Cuz I can't possibly imagine someone shopping at Target picking up a shimmery eye illuminator for the price of filling up their gas tank.

So I say, WTF Target, WTF.

Recessionista

2009-01-21T14:15:00.004-05:00

There are many websites, blogs and articles in newspapers all over the country claiming to know where the good deals in town are located. One such blog I came upon yesterday in The City Paper. It was called "Frugalista" and claimed to be a blog with local deals around Charleston. Now, maybe because I'm unemployed at the moment, or that I grew up middle class, or that I've never really had disposable income (minus the 2 years after college where I thought a credit card was FREE MONEY), I don't think a $50 hoodie is a so called "steal". In what world does someone think a cotton zip up fleece for 50 bones is a bargain? So I've come to realize that these articles are targeted toward rich people that are still rich, but maybe their stocks are in decline. Because they sure aren't for the post college majority living on student loans, MUSC studies and bread crumbs. So here's some sites/stores for those who think a good value is a $4 skirt from Target. (me)

* Right now Target is having 75% off sales in store. Even more online. Go to Target.com and click on women's or men's, then 75% off. Shirts, Dresses, Skirts, Bathing suits, all for less than a McDonald's value meal.

* Hit up Alloy.com and click clearance...shirts, skirts for $4.99

* Makeup freak? ELF.com has makeup for $1---literally, it's all about the Washingtons.

* Try Forever21 for their Fabulous Finds or Daily Specials. A summer dress for $13!?! Black platform pumps for $14!!! And jewelery starts at $1.99

* The $15 Dollar Store is exactly what it sounds like.

*Of course you've heard of Woot; if you are a technology junkie.

* The ever so faithful Ebay for any need you may need to fulfill.

*Amazon has dvds, cds, books, electronics for about 1/2 the retail price in stores.

* Don't forget your neighborhood thrift & consignment shops!

* Craigslist--good for old washing machines and/ or wives.

* The neighborhood $1 store. I buy almost everything for the apt there. Hand towels, holiday decorations, soap, cleaning supplies, crossword puzzles, pens, thank you cards, chips, dip, candy, socks, gloves, cotton balls, nail file, fingernail polish, chapstick, can opener, spatula, paper towels, candles, birthday balloons, wippets (jk). For serious, they have it all.

Count on me for being cheap and knowing where the deals are. Because it's not on sale unless its covered in 16 orange stickers.

Yes He Can

2009-01-20T14:51:00.001-05:00

My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Don't Miss
Video coverage of Obama's inauguration
Monumental expectations for Obama's address
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted -- for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act -- not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control -- and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort -- even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed -- why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."
America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Bravo Slumdog!

2009-01-19T09:44:00.002-05:00

Slumdog Millionaire won 4 Golden Globes, 26 other awards and has 35 nominations...and deservedly so. Holly, Melvin and I ventured across town to the only indie theatre in Charleston to check this movie out. We snuck in our own goodies such as Good & Plenty, Reese's Pieces, and Trail Mix. After a $7 ticket (cheaper than the regular movies), $4.25 Cherry Coke, and a $5 popcorn, we settled into our seats to enjoy the show. This is hands-down one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen. Tears, laughter, heartbreak--all emotions that you will feel while watching this movie. It's an amazing tale of triumph and love. You will instantly fall in love with the main character Jamal at his early age of about 5. He's the most adorable kid you will ever see and you fall deeper in love with him as he ages throughout the film. You cheer and cry for him. If you have a theatre in your area playing this movie, I highly recommend that you check this out immediately.

Watch the Trailer

Brand New Day

2009-01-01T11:33:00.004-05:00

It's a clean slate, a new year. What will you do with it? My friend Rod decided to "dominate all facets of life". I think I'm going to try and do something specific that I may be able to accomplish. Like find a steady job. I no longer work at PPI, so I'm job hunting. In the meantime, while looking, I'm babysitting and substitute teaching again. Thank god I have that on the backburner to fall into. Otherwise, I would have been asking if you'd like fries with that. (Are THEY even hiring?). Most companies seem to be on a hiring freeze, so it's not really conducive to job hunting.

So in this new year, I've decided to do yoga. Yoga at least 3 times a week. I bought some videos on Amazon and even a yoga mat, which lets you know I'm serious about it. Yoga has so many benefits and its incredibly easy, so it seems like a no brainer. It helps reduce physical pain, help emotional stress, and even can help you breathe better which leads to less respiratory problems.

That is my small, but significant NY resolution.

It's attainable, substainable and easy!

What will you be doing?

Fat Man in a Suit Day

2008-12-24T11:46:00.003-05:00

I hope this is you this Christmas! Have a happy happy spiked eggnog holiday! Make resolutions and then break them the next day, that's the only way to do it. :)

As for me, I'll be spending this holiday playing with the presents I bought other people. Woohoo. And watch out kids, I'm taking an improv class starting in Jan which means in approx a year and a half I'll be on the SNL stage. (wait, what? That's not how it works? crap.)

Oh well, Merry Christmas!

Donate to my Fund!

2008-12-08T14:35:00.001-05:00

End of 2008

2008-12-05T12:26:00.002-05:00

2008 is almost over and I realize I haven't blogged in forever. Bloggin has dramatically been reduced with my recent jobs over the past year. I was teaching for a while, so I had no time during the day to blog. And now I'm working at a Marketing Promotional company and am very busy, thus no time to blog at work. By the time I get home, I'm too tired or uninspired to blog about anything. So I'll catch you up on what's been going on and what I have to look forward to.

I'm working at Passport International, a mkt/promotional company in Mt. Pleasant. We sell anything you can possibly imagine in regards to promotional products. I have a sweet cubicle in the back where noone can bother me equipped with mood lighting and pictures of SNL characters. I'm thinking about getting a second job for extra cash after the holidays. Perhaps a boutique where I can work Saturday mornings or a couple days after work. Hey, at least gas prices are down.

The election was an incredible time. I was excited and thrilled through the whole process. We are witnessing history in the making. I hope it all works out the way we hope and think. I have a feeling Barack is going to be good for us and I can't wait to see what he does. However, I do agree it will take years to fix the mess we're in.

I'm debating what I want to do for NYE. With limited funds this year, I'm hoping to do something either lowkey or lowbudget. For a moment, I was debating bartending somewhere to make lots of money, but I haven't heard of anywhere hiring for NYE. I guess we'll see.

Today is full of more Christmas shopping. One present down, many more to go. Let's do it!

I will leave you with my favorite quote from the Office yesterday "You are a silent killer, go back to the Annex"

:)

I Hope You Believe Too

2008-11-05T18:56:00.000-05:00

My Favorite New Cast Member.

2008-09-25T16:02:00.000-04:00

All Hail Tina Fey

2008-09-15T09:12:00.002-04:00

The only funny thing about SNL this saturday.

Michael Phelps=not funny. And I so badly wanted him to be funny, however, he has NO personality whatsoever.

Ways to get myself on SNL

2008-09-08T19:55:00.003-04:00

So one of my lifelong dreams is to host SNL. And I figure I will have to become one of the following in order to make this dream come true.

1. Become a bonefide Celebrity:
This one may be the hardest to accomplish. I will either have to have a hit tv show and make it into Page 6 daily or star in a Marvel comic/Scorcese/indie film gone mainstream. I don't know if I have the talent for this one. I'm funny enough to be on snl, but I don't have the time to move to LA, convince Vinny Chase to be my boyfriend to use him to get close to Ari so he'll represent me and then land a starring role as the new member of Gossip Girl.

2. Win 8 Gold Medals/4 Tour de Frances:
Ok I stand corrected. This may be the hardest. I mean, is being lazy an Olympic event? Couch sitting, watching tv, Facebook stalking, kissing, or Gchatting perhaps? Elsewise, this maybe be a futile attempt. Crap.

3. Sell 100 Million albums worldwide as an icon of our generation:
I keep trumping myself with harder and harder ways to host SNL. I'm pretty sure singing Prince karoke does not qualify me as a worldwide diva singing sensation.....or does it?

4. Be Editor in Chief/CEO of a Finance magazine:
Eh, I have too much debt and not enough money to tell other people how to have no debt and lots of money. DAMN!

5. Appear in a Victoria Secret Catalog:
I'm not even going to touch this one.

This may be harder than I thought. I will take suggestions and if anyone wants to book me or put in a good word, I'll be most appreciative.

Job Status

2008-08-05T16:40:00.003-04:00

I realized I haven't shared with my bloggies about my new job.
After interviewing for every job possible in the realm of business and teaching, I settled on an account manager position at Passport International, a company that distributes promotional products. I'm an account manager for the business to business side (we also have smaller companies that placate to the consumer side: ZMan, The Perfect Tshirt Company). So the sales team brings businesses in, and I take care of all their needs from then on out. It's a pretty sweet deal. I basically shop for people and build presentations and then see the entire order through production until it is in their hands. Cool huh? As a perk I get almost any product you can think of at wholesale.

The girls I work with are really cool too. Not just in my department (Client Services) but in Graphic Design (my age--hilarious). So it's a pretty good deal and I think I finally found my niche--shopping for a living.

Exactly

2008-07-30T18:04:00.001-04:00

http://gizmodo.com/5029743/john-mayer-does-apple-tech-support-for-his-dad-fails-miserably

This has happened to me with my mother more times than I care to remember.

Now I Know How Kanye Feels

2008-07-08T22:35:00.005-04:00

Ok so I can't hate on Kanye West anymore. Although he seems like an arrogant, self centered jackass, you can't deny he is talented. And damn straight he should have won some of those awards he lost. And now I kind of understand why he stormed the stage and made claims about how he should have won over so and so.

I entered the Grand Marnier Ad Contest a couple months ago. I was in the top 25 for Round 1 and won the most votes. So I was automatically entered into the final 8. And they chose the winners this morning....and I didn't win. WTF?!?!

Look at what they chose over me:

If this were the VMAs, I would be storming the stage and yelling about how Pam Anderson was in my video.

Bonnaroo

2008-06-26T00:12:00.005-04:00

Us towards the end of Bonnaroo

The best tshirt we saw at the Roo

The best liquor store in a trailer on the way to the Roo

Bonnaroo was an experience. A long drive, a lot of Walmart beer, a lot of sun, a lot of rain, a lot of talent, a lot of dirt, a lot of smells, a lot of port-o-potties, a lot of fun.
We showed up around 10pm on Thursday night, set up the camper and headed into the festival to see what was still going on. We caught the 2nd half of Vampire Weekend, which I really enjoyed even though I had never heard one song before. Then we ventured over to the comedy tent just in time for Zack Galinfinakis (sp?) who was incredibly hilarious. Then I hit the camper bed around 2am.
The next morning I awoke, sweaty and having to pee. I made the hike to the port-o-potties which I would do about 27 times in the next 3 days.
In our time at the Roo we saw Jack Johnson (awesome, brought out Eddie Vedder for a song), BBKing(the greatest, simply amazing), Kayne West (big 'ole waste of time), Robert Randolph(awesome), Death Cab(chill), OAR(I wandered off in the middle), Widespread Panic(did not know they were old guys), Chris Rock(really funny), and Drive by Truckers(wandered off again). You are probably thinking, Ashley, why is that all you saw? Well damnit I was tired and hot and drunk. And this is what I saw and it was great ok.
Everyone by now has heard the big debacle about Kayne's performance. And he whines like a little girl on his website about it. But either way you cut it, he took forever to come out, didn't say one word to the audience, and pissed a lot of people off. He whines in his blog about there being water on his stage and him having to work around it. Someone give this guy a metal!! 10 other acts, including LEGENDS, had to play in torrential downpours during the day or the night before. And they didn't whine about it. Actually, nearly every act the next day started "kanye sucks" chants.
My favorite was BB King and Robert Randolph. Hands down, put on an amazing show.
Jack Johnson came in a close 3rd. So easy going, effortless that guy.

Some people said I wouldn't make it through the Roo without complaining that I wanted to go home the first day. Well I made it, it was an adventure and I had a really good time.

ps. I found $60 on the ground the first night. Followed by a dollar the 2nd. So all in all?? Adam and I got some beers for free!

Will I go again next year? Depends on the acts...bc honestly, the only reservations I had were the port-o-potties.

I've be lame, eh?

2008-06-11T23:26:00.004-04:00

I've been a bad, bad bloggie. I haven't blogged about anything exciting in a while, and for that I apologize. But don't worry young fans, I am going to Bonnaroo this weekend. If you aren't familiar, this is a 5 day music festival in Tennessee. 5 days, outside, living out of a camper, in heat, with no showers, for 5 days. Some say I can't do it..mainly my best friends and my own mother. She bet I'd last 2 days. Adam thinks this will be a test to our relationship, whether I can contain bitching about being dirty for a whole long weekend. We shall see I guess. I think I can do it, damn it, I'm determined to do it.
I've got a whole survival kit that includes:
Toilet wipes
Face wipes
Hand wipes
Anti-bacterial soap
Irish Spring bar
Zit cream
Water spritzing fan
toilet paper
paper towels
3 types of sunscreen
bugspray
packets of shampoo and conditioner
portable toothbrush/toothpaste
razor
deodorant
water bottles
first aid kit
garbage bags
duct tape
safety pins
bobby pins

annnnnd I'm ready. Off at 830am tomorrow morning. Wish us luck!

I will have many stories when I return. and pictures. oooooh the pictures.

(for you Jill)

365

2008-06-09T19:31:00.001-04:00

1 year today.
love you.

Quarters

2008-05-16T17:37:00.000-04:00

I'm turning 25. tomorrow. yikes.

You love me, you really love me!

2008-05-02T18:08:00.003-04:00

So Grand Marnier is hosting this contest involving the public making an ad to go along with their Grand Moments campaign. Needless to say, I entered. And needless to say, I'm in the top 25.
But I need your help!

The viewing public votes on their favorites from each round. So right now, I need ya'll to go to www.mygrandmarnier.com and click on VIEW AND VOTE. My ad will be front and center and it says A.Roe from Mount Pleasant, SC. Click on vote and put me as your favorite and just enter your email address. It is one vote per email address, so try to come up with all your work, school, and personal accounts.

I'm currently #1, but I need to stay there in order to automatically go to the FINAL ROUND in which I only compete against 7 other people. Not to mention I win a trip to PARIS!

Right now though, the ads are streaming on digital billboards in Times Square, Las Vegas Strip, and the Sunset Strip. If you are in these areas and have a camera, PLEASE take a pic of mine when it comes and email me! That would be awesome.

misstigerash@yahoo.com

Thank you, love you, owe you.

Magical Thinking

2008-04-03T22:39:00.002-04:00

I'm always one step behind the bandwagon when it comes to reading books. I will eventually read a NY Times bestseller...when it hits 75% off at Barnes and Noble. And that's exactly what I did 2 weeks ago when I picked up Augusten Burroughs copy of Magical Thinking. It's a book of true stories. Just random interesting stories from his life covered with sarcasm and wrapped in wit. I really want to get his other two books, the predecessors Running With Scissors and Dry. As you probably know Running With Scissors was made into a movie that I am dying to rent.

Anyway, this book is not only hilarious, but scarily edgy and provocative. I was not at all prepared for what met me after the Contents. (ex, he got a blow job from a priest when he was 14 in a bathroom at church and his mother let the family psychiatrist adopt him)
And then it progresses into a sort of new age love story that even I could relate to. (He's gay, I am obviously straight) The way he writes about loving someone completely resonated with me.

Below are my 2 favorite excerpts from the book.
"What's painful and wonderful about loving somebody is loving their small things, like the way he is able to smile when he sips his wine, the way his hands fall down to his sides, fingers slightly cupped. The truth is, he has no bad qualities and no faults. When he's working late and I'm alone, or sometimes when we're in bed together, the lights off, I try and make even a small list in my mind of his faults: Things I Put Up With Out of Love. But I haven't been able to think of a single thing that I am no able to first overlook and then come to cherish. Unconditional love. That's what this is. I love him, as is, fully. I've had to stop arm wrestling with the facts. Why me? Didn't I already have a big love once? And lost it? So why should I get it again? I've had to stop trying to look for cracks and flaws to prove that it's not as good as it seems. Because it is as good as it seems. Even when we fight, we fight inside the container of good. Somehow, through a flip of the coin, I ended up here. Feeling like somebody at the top of the heart-lung transplant recipient list. Damaged but invigorated and fucking lucky."

"Have I given up anything by living with another person? Has there been a trade-off? Always, there is a trade-off. And the answer comes to me instantly. I have given up a certain degree of freedom. The ability to plow through my life with utter disregard for the thoughts and feelings of other people. I can no longer read a magazine and throw it on the floor. In exchange, I get unlimited access to the one person I have met in my life whom I automatically felt was out of my league. My favorite human being, the single person I cherish above all others. This is the person I get to share the oxygen in the room with. And for this, I will happily scrub the toilet."

I just love the way he puts things...and I totally agree.
Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy (mine was only $4.99)

My Bestie

2008-04-02T19:12:00.003-04:00

Flashback to a year ago:
Early April, me and Sarah are sitting in an airport on route to New York City. She's going for a work trip, I'm going to see NYC because in about 5 months, it will be my new home. A cute blogger from NYC has offered to show me around that night/day while she's working. We're staying at the Ritz Carlton-Battery Park (which a lot more hype than spectacular that we were expecting...the toilet overflowed, the shower shot my nipples off, and the bath water was luke warm at best) We toured the city, the bars, the cold ass weather. We took pictures, had brunch, paid way too much for cabs, felt claustraphobic, and loved every minute. We were making changes. We were going to change our lives. We were going to have new and fabolous jobs, a postage stamp apt, credit card bills, and hopefully cute ny boyfriends. That was our plan. Move and change everything around us. Scenery, man scene, job market, everything.
And then we got the biggest changes of our 20s.
A few weeks later, our friend Bruce called us up for happy hour to come hang out with his new girl of the moment. She brought friends and before you knew it, Sarah was making out with one of them. Summer fling we thought. A cute and nice guy to take up her time this Summer before flying off to NYC to our new life. They dated,.....no one moved.......they are now engaged.
A few weeks after that, the same matchmaking Bruce called us to go out on one of his friend's boat. We showed up to an apt complex in Mount Pleasant owned by the hottest guy I had seen in many a moons. We dated...no one moved...I moved in.

One day you are going along, making plans, and BAM, something happens that you would never expect.

Congrats Sarah and Michael.
Love you ;)

Favorite Song of the Month

2008-03-25T22:06:00.002-04:00

For some reason, this story is nostalgic

New Panic! At The Disco cd. Song is called When the Day met Night

When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky.
All was golden when the day met the night.
When the sun found the moon, she was drinking tea in a garden under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer.
When the moon found the sun, it looked like he was barely hanging on but her eyes saved his life, in the middle of summer. In the middle of summer, all is golden in the sky, all is golden when the day met the night. Summer.
So he said, would it be alright if we just sat and talked for a little while,if in exchange for your time, i'll give you this smile. So she said, thats ok as long as you can make a promise not to break my little heart and leave me all alone in the summer.
well he was just hanging around, and he fell in love and he didnt know how, but he couldn't get out, just hanging around and fell in love.
When the moon fell in love with the sun, all is golden in the sky, all is golden when the day met the night.
Summer.

Check it out on itunes.

Go Visit

2008-03-19T17:26:00.001-04:00

My other blog where I rant about celebrities and American Idol.
Last time I checked it only had 4 viewers. RIDIC!

http://heresayfornow.blogspot.com

Muchas Gracias.

Quote of the Week

2008-03-11T21:00:00.002-04:00

I was telling the kids that 5 minutes was enough time for them to go to their lockers to which a kid responded "you can make a baby in 5 minutes!"

Tales From the Schoolyard

2008-02-17T21:28:00.002-05:00

So I have been substitute teaching now for a little over 2 weeks. And I just accepted a long term position at middle school down the street teaching 7th and 8th grade honors science. SCIENCE. I'm excited bc the school is great, the kids are great, and the science classes have labs. Which means experiments...(maybe I'll shrink a kid)

But I thought I'd share some of my experiences with some of you.

-I had to refer a girl to the offie because she was throwing markers across the room and rocking her desk back and forth

-A kid asked me if I'd ever smoken pot and if I thought the government should legalize it.

-A girl thought I was 19.

-I said damnit in front of my Spanish class.

-A boy told his gf to tell me that he thought I was cute.

-I came back to a classroom early from lunch to catch the middle of sex ed.

-A student asked if I like to drink a lot in high school.

-I've been asked if I'm married 27 times. (estimate)

-I've been asked if I was still in college 16 times. (estimate)

...more to come, I promise.

Happy Vday

2008-02-14T18:31:00.003-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

What is everyone doing to celebrate...or not celebrate, whatever the case may be.

Last year me and Sarah had dinner at one of my favorite resturants and then our friends Melvin and Kristin joined us for a movie. It was a perfect *single* valentine's day. This year, however, I have a great man to spend it with.

As we speak, he's making us steaks, mashed potatoes, and asparagus as I sip wine and listen to John Legend. Sound perfect? That's because it is.

Tomorrow evening, we are having drinks and dinner at a trendy pizza place on upper King Street and hitting up the Have Nots comedy show.

And for our last romantic endeavor this weekend, we have my friend Kate's engagement party.

Have a great weekend, and let me know your stories from tonight!

Superbowl Something

2008-01-31T11:49:00.000-05:00

My grandmother says Eli is a crybaby. She actually likes to say "Eli cries", probably because it rhymes and that's what old people do, they rhyme.So the Superbowl is almost among us. I would say the number, but I don't do roman numerals too well, so I'm going to go ahead and say Superbowl One Hundred and Fifty Seven is coming soon. Go Patriots!

Hotness.

Gossip

2008-01-29T10:16:00.000-05:00

I have a new blog. Well, an addition to my blog here. It's a gossip blog. I'll try to update as much as I can. But I think you might enjoy.
CHECK IT OUT

Crazy Lady

2008-01-22T09:11:00.000-05:00

I've been told I haven't written about my crazy weekends. Oh me, how I forget. Maybe it's the hangovers that have wielded me inable to fully function enough to write a blog. And now my sinuses are in the way. I was sick last week. Sore throat. Now the sore throat is gone, I have a runny nose and a killer headache. Go figure. So as I sniffle, I will try to recap the past couple weekends in a few short blurbs.
-I got drunk
-I sang Brick House in front of a bar full of people with a band behind me.
-I drank 12 shots at work and proceeded to make all my coworkers shots as well.
-I went dancing with friends, chased one down the street bc he was so drunk he kept running away from us, ended up leaving said friend downtown bc we were sick of chasing him through Marion Square at 2:15am
-Was invited to someone's Mad River VIP party and sent an email to the bar telling them that I also had a VIP party so that I could drink for free, talked the bartender into making us shots, and went to each bartender at the bar to get a beer bc they only gave you one at a time.

And moving on...
This past Sunday we celebrated Adam's birthday (which is today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE) by blindfolding him, taking him downtown and surprising him with Band of Horses tickets.

I saw PS I love you last night. I cried, literally, the entire movie. ENTIRE MOVIE.

I have -$17 in my checking account and thought I got paid from the restuarant today. I did not get paid from the restuarant today.

I only work one day this week bc I have substitute teaching seminars. Which means I get to sit and listen to 8 hours of lecture on things I already know. But it leads to something better. Like my foot in the door at a school that will hire me come March. Hiphophooray for being poor. I feel like Chris Gardner, except I have a place to live. :)

Alas, today is still a good day. Bc I get to celebrate with my love his Birthday ;)

Drinking for Dummies

2008-01-16T10:15:00.000-05:00

Drinking games made easy.

Show: Drink Whenever: Approx amt of drinks:
American Gladiators, Hulk Hogan says dude or brother, 20

Jeopardy, You get an answer wrong, 39

Family Guy, Peter has a flashback, 6

American Idol, Someone hits a flat note, 112

I love NY, There is a bleep ,21

Project Runway ,Tim Gunn says "make it work", 12

Ice Road Truckers, Someone talks in a country accent, 411

Deal or no Deal, They say the word "million", 85

My Name is Earl, the show sucks, 428

CNN, Bush or Iraq is mentioned, 122

Everyday Life: Drink When: Approx Amt of Drinks
Around me, I use chapstick, 42

Driving to work, Someone drives below the speedlimit, 20

Being at work, you are bored or frustrated ,877

Working out ,you sweat, 30

Listening to ipod, a song comes on you'd be embarrased was in library, 22

Going to Get Myself in Trouble

2008-01-09T11:20:00.001-05:00

But here it goes.

I recently took a quiz to see which presidential candidate has the same view on issues that I care about. Well they have them separated. One is democrat and one is republican (although I wish they just gave you the questions and determined which person best matches your beliefs regardless of affiliation). So I took the republican one first and found answers I liked, only about 2 questions did I not agree with anybody on. And it came out that my top 2 were Fred Thompson and Ron Paul. And I do like Fred Thompson. Every time I've seen him on tv, he's been dead-on. But the truth is, he'll probably never get elected. Which is sad. Bc he's no bullshit. And that's what we need.

I then attempted to take the democrat quiz and couldn't even get through the first questions. The first 7, I couldn't find an answer I liked on anything. The issues that matter to me are the ones that directly affect me: healthcare, taxes, education. It seems weapons of mass destruction, the Iraq war, Islam terrorists and global warming were all they cared about. Esp the war on Iraq. This seems the for front of every single democrat. They can't talk about anything else except how they initially opposed this war and how that makes them some kind of genius presidential candidate. Now, I'm not saying the Iraq war, WMD, terrorism or global warming aren't important on some scale, but they aren't as important as things that directly affect me. And I don't think just pulling all troops out of Iraq tomorrow is going to solve anything. That seems like an easy thing to say, but come on, is that really feasible? Come on. I like a candidate that admits that radically changing existing laws or amendments isn't easy and it will take time and some things just aren't feasible. Completely balancing the budget? Are you serious? You really think you can just come in and all the sudden balance the budget? no way. Some of these people are living in a fantasy world. And that's what I like about Fred Thompson. He's not. He doesn't want to come in and just radically get rid of or start new laws and think everything is going to be ok. Things take time. It's not magic.

So I'm officially voting for Fred Thompson. Check him out.

Ano Nuevo

2008-01-08T12:10:00.000-05:00

I thesaurused Resolutions and it gave me:
analysis, assertion, band-aid, breakdown, call, conclusion, decision, declaration, determination, dissection, elucidation, end, exposition, finding, interpretation, judgment, motion, nod, outcome, pay dirt*, presentation, proposal, proposition, quick fix*, recitation, recommendation, resolve, settlement, solution, solving, sorting out, ticket*, unraveling, upshot, verdict, working out

What the hell is paydirt? Is that some new fangle word that Paris Hilton started shouting at paparazzi? I'm so confused by this. Ok, I'm looking up the def of paydirt:
1.soil, gravel, or ore that can be mined profitably.
2.Informal. any source of success or wealth; a fortunate discovery or profitable venture: After months of experimentation, the scientists finally hit pay dirt.
3.Football. end zone (def. 1).

Wow, thank you for clearing that up dictionary.com (still looks confused, if not more confused than before I started)

So where was I, oh yes. New Year's Resolutions. Do people ever keep these? And don't we say the same crap every single year about losing weight, staying fit, being nicer, not sweating the small stuff, and saving money? But when it comes down to it, in June, do we ever go, oh yeah whoops, I was supposed to be doing something like losing weight, staying fit, being nicer, not sweating the small stuff, and saving money. Guess I'm screwed.
I think New Years Resolutions are like pyramid schemes, good idea, never work out.

So this year, my Resolution is to not have a resolution. I'm going to do what I want, whenever I want. And that is my 5 point plan that only has 1 point. Look how efficient I am.

Good Newsess

2008-01-02T09:12:00.000-05:00

That's the plural of news.

Things that have been happening.......................

1. I passed my Business Praxis Exam so I am now legally able to teach Business in any South Carolina public school.
2. I'm officially a Mount Pleasant resident, as I moved in with my boyfriend in a condo across the bridge.
3. I finally found a pair of inexpensive brown knee high boots.
4. I got a dress on sale for $7.
5. I fell in love with a boutique that actually sells reasonable priced clothes. It's called Francesca's and it's awesome.
6. I successfully made a New Years dinner last night.
7. I almost punched a girl in the bathroom during the Clemson game bc she said our cheers were stupid.
8. Happy 2008

Merry Christmas Girls

2007-12-21T12:10:00.001-05:00

Don't say I never gave you anything. Taylor Kitsch from Friday Night Lights, according to Lainey, the best show you're not watching. (ps 80% of his scenes, he's not wearing a shirt)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Bad Santa

2007-12-19T11:23:00.000-05:00

We have all had our share of grandma's knit sweaters, fruitcake, and random crap given to us. Do you ever wonder what goes through people's minds when they go to buy a gift? Is it that they just don't care, or worse, they don't know you at all?

Here's a list of things from past boyfriends of me and my friends. I won't go into who's are who's, you'll have to try and guess. But let me just say, I laughed my ass off when my friend Amy told me some of hers. The first one I will start with, will be the one that made me fall out of my chair laughing. Here we go.

1. Gift basket of lotions/showergel from WALMART.

2. Tshirt from Abercrombie. Tshirt, may I remind you that said something like Hot Sun Rentals

3. $100 cash

4. Toothbrush

5. Snowglobe

6. Gift Certificate to the mall

7. A carebear

8. Lime green baseball tee

9. 6pack of Corona

10. House plant

11. A printer that came free with a new laptop

12. A homemade Jamaican necklace.

13. A ring with 2 hearts intertwined from like a mall jewelery store.

14. A teddy bear that came free with a $50 purchase from American Eagle

15. American Eagle shirt.

16. Picture frame with the two of us.

17. Going to the beach with a 12 pack of beer and asking me to have sex in his car.

18. A gangsta chain with my initials on it, with fake diamonds all over it.

19. A cd.

20. A jewerly box that quote "looked like it was bought with greenback stamps"

21. A cactus

and for the best one of all time

22. A borrowed video camera so they could record the sex.

Musings

2007-12-11T12:55:00.000-05:00

Fingernail polish should not chip the first 2 days. I mean, come on, I just painted you, what is the problem.

Dogs should have to do manual labor and earn a living if they insist on chewing your belongings.

Every place should have a frequent visit card. I would be getting a lot of free mt dews, gas, groceries, and haircuts.

If watches are made with batteries that never die, then why not cell phones?

I want my porch light to be made out of an eternal flame.

Tupperware, socks, and anything else normally lost should cost $0.25.

I want to go treasure hunting.

This year for Christmas, I want thing I need. Like a walgreens pharmacy gift card. And a gas card. Oh and a real job.

I want a job where I can work in pajamas and/or jeans.

I want to backpack through Europe for a week.

The new David Gray song is amazing. Look up "You're the World to Me" on Rhapsody.com

1/2 a year

2007-12-10T11:59:00.000-05:00

6 months, yesterday. ;)

Things You Shouldn't Skimp On

2007-12-04T08:42:00.000-05:00

We all know I'm cheap. I'm always looking for the lowest price item at the best value possible and see how many coupons I can gather together to get something for free. Bc I swear, it tastes, looks, and smells better when you didn't pay for it.

But sometimes, there are things you can just not skimp on.

-Letter openers...have you ever tried to open envelopes with those cheap plastic letter openers? Disaster.

-Diet Coke, Sprite, Mt. Dew....Earth Frost just doesn't taste the same.

-Toilet Paper....You remember toilet paper at your high school? Sand.paper.

-Markers...Dollar Store fake markers dry up in about 2 uses. No wonder they are 100 for $1. There is a reason for that.

-Laundry Detergent....believe me, you can tell. Soap is not soap.

-Condoms...that one is self explanatory

-Haircut or color....Please do not trust a $10 haircut or someone named Tiffany who still has a mullet and only works tue/thurs at Supercuts.

-Triscuits.....the original is the only way to go

-Cell Phone service provider...you never know when you're going to be stuck on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.

-Oil changes, brakepads, tires, ie, anything related to the maintenance of your car. Just ask me what happened when I got my oil changed at Walmart.

-Doctors....this one is just obvious

If you can think of others, add 'em to the list!

I'm Slack

2007-12-03T12:48:00.000-05:00

I'm just now getting around to posting the pictures from the Thanksgiving Drinking Night Extravaganza. I put up the main ones, not the weird ones that include me biting Bruce's hand or yelling at someone from afar. Bc these are things you just don't need to see. They happen, they just do, I don't need to share them with the world.
Christmas is in 3 weeks. Holy crap, get ready. Booze and food is among us.

Go Elf Yourself

2007-11-21T11:56:00.001-05:00

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9558130572

Who Loves Turkey?

2007-11-20T11:26:00.000-05:00

I love Turkey!
As usual, the fam is gathering at my grandparents house to eat our faces off, pass out, pray to god we live, unbuckle our pants, fight over Trivial Pursuit, go for 3rds, avoid cleaning the dishes, eat more, and pass out again. Ahh family time.
The food list goes like this:
Turkey
Mashed Potatoes
Green Bean Casserole
Baked macaroni and cheese
3 types of cranberries
Stuffing
Peas
Gravy
Pecan Pie

Oh it is on. I'm wearing strechy pajamas and hankering down for the next 3 days to recover.

Things That Happen to ME

2007-11-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

BAD:
I got 2 speeding tickets in 2 months.

My employer "forgets" to pay me.

I decide to be responsible and not blow off work saturday in lieu of the Clemson game and get cut at 745pm, and made no money so I could have gone.

I have no health insurance.

One of my favorite shirts has gone missing.

My nail broke.

I think I have a flat tire.

Facebook makes me update my status every week.

One of my favorite pairs of shoes, the leather streched out, so they are too big.

GOOD:

My interview with West Ashley High School went well.

Sarah's bf also has hookups at Rawle Murdy, the place I've wanted to work since high school.

I was told I looked like I lost weight.

Jayson has come back for the holidays.

I get to go to Tennesee with my love for Christmas.

I am going to Cola for the USC/CLEMSON game.

I got 2 cute dresses for $20 and some fabolous red shoes to match.

I have many holiday festivities to attend where I will eat and drink my face off.

My mom bought me a fabolous red winter peacoat.

I don't have herpes. Not everyone can say that.

Happy Almost Thanksgiving. Turkey day!!
Last Year's Pre-Turkey Day DrunkFest.

November Track Listing

2007-11-13T23:02:00.000-05:00

My newest downloads:

Magic-Colbie Cailliat (found her this summer and then she exploded. Great voice, greater lyrics)

Do it well- Jennifer Lopez (did I write this song?)

Radar-Britney Spears (damn she sings some catchy tunes)

Flat on the Floor-Carrie Underwood ( I love her voice, she is good for singing at the top of your lungs)

The Underdog-Spoon (we all know I love spoon)

Low-Flo Rida (makes you want to shake your booty)

Umbrella remix-Rhianna ft Jay Z (old, but now I'm addicted, after the fact)

That Girl is a Cowboy-Garth Brooks (also an oldy, but I could listen to Garth all day long)

The Thing About Love-Alicia Keys (soulful, great, smooth, relaxing)

New Strings-Miranda Lambert (awesome)

Me, Me, Me

2007-11-12T13:42:00.000-05:00

I work 3 jobs. Not by choice, but because I have to pay bills like a "real" person. A "grown-up" if you will. And I have no days off. I work 7 days a week. And it's starting to take its toll. And damnit, I bought myself a new pair of shoes. They should arrive today.

Take a look at these beauties

Merry Christmas to myself.

The Holidays are Upon Us....soon.

2007-11-08T13:25:00.000-05:00

It's November, which means I can start celebrating Christmas. A little early you say? Nah, never. I've already updated my ipod with a new Christmas playlist and started shopping for holiday outfits and shoes. What, I'm supposed to be buying other people gifts? Well that's lame.

I seriously have not one clue what I'm getting for my peeps for Christmas. Well considering that I am only buying for the bf, mom, grandparents, I feel like I should have some sort of idea. Well I have a half of one for Adam, a half of one for mom, and I'm thinking joint-present for the grents. That looks like grents, but its G Rents. You get it, don't look at me like that.

Random thoughts:

Craigslist best of will make you laugh. Read it anytime you need one. An asskicking machine, really!?

Do you realize how many dresses I need for this holiday season? 3. that is a lot.

I love Christmas for many reasons, but we can't ignore the reason of food. Cheeseballs? Those little cheese covered sausage ball things, fruitcake (no i just vomited too), Ham, Turkey, mac n cheese (homemade and crispy), veggie tray, snacks, eating and more eating.

Ashley, what are your favorite things? oh that would be sex, food, and sleeping. Not particularily in that order, but it's nice.

How come it is, when I wear tights in the winter, I always manage to somehow snag them and end up buying multiple pairs over a 2 month stretch. That is just plain ridiculous.

I've been freezing at work and just today realized there was a little heater under my desk.

I've been listening to Christmas carols everywhere I go for the past 2 days. And the Hanson Christmas CD is by far the best, I don't care what you say. don't you judge me.

Sometimes when I get bored, I look up things I will never afford or never have. Build my own BMW, rings, dresses, shoes, husbands.

Pajamas should be a work clothing option.

If someone bought me the starbucks frapps from the grocery (peppermint mocha for christmas flavor) I wouldn't be mad.

If I had to eat one food for the rest of my life, it would be Bird's Eye frozen rice, brocolli and cheese rice with a melt in your mouth filet.

Boo

2007-11-05T09:58:00.000-05:00

Halloween was pretty lowkey this year. Only 2 parties. 2 outfits.
First, we celebrated in DC, Adam being a wife beater and me being his white trash wife with a black eye. Our costumes were hilarious, especially with Adam wearing a corona bandanna across this head and not shaven in a month. (since my camera went to the shop, I'm trying to trackdown a picture from that night)

On Wednesday our friend Steph had a party at her apt that brought out all the friends for a nice little party. We had richard simmons, Inigo Montoya, 2 Mt Everest Hikers, a kid from the goonies, and many more. We had flip cup, we had pigs in a blanket. It was a good time. And somewhere mixed in there was vodka shots.

some pics below.

Another Installment

2007-11-01T11:18:00.000-04:00

of Ashley Facts:

I get in these moods where I start fidgeting with my hair and can't stop. literally can't stop.

I hate it when people are upset with me. It makes me miserable until they like me again.

I always want coffee or a mt dew in the morning but get halfway through it and get sick of it.

I like using post its to list things.

I am constantly wondering why britney spears doesn't look in the mirror before she leaves the house. This thought takes up about an hour of my day.

I like drinking liquids through straws. sometimes even beer.

I think people should wear costumes more than just on halloween.

Studying is the worst thing in the world. I like learning, but I hate memorizing.

I could eat all day long and never stop if it was socially acceptable and i couldn't gain a pound.

Most of my best friends are guys. They don't do drama and they don't play stupid girl games.

My favorite day is a sunny day.

I hate it when people won't tell you why they are mad. they just act mad and pouty. I can't stand pouty.

I want to be able to wear pajamas to work.

I hate the getting ready process. showering, blow drying, straightening, makeup. I loathe having to do all that.

I want to climb a tree.

I love to compliment strangers on their clothes.

In winter, I like to snuggle with a big comforter on my couch.

I love slippers.

ps i love you.

Hallow's Eve.

2007-10-25T10:12:00.001-04:00

Sorry for my absence, I do apologize.
Halloween is almost among us. This weekend me and the boy will be flying to DC to stay with a friend, attend a halloween bash, see the Clemson game, and have a nice little vacay. Dressing up for Halloween is one of my favorite things. This year should be a good one. I'll post the pics of this weekend from my DISPOSABLE camera (my real one is in the shop) as soon as I get them developed (what is this 1997?).
I'll leave you with some Halloween pics from last year, where I dressed up 3 different times.
Enjoy.

Bill Cosby, a busted condom, miami football player, a bucket of fun, just corey, and one of those vikings from the capital one commericals.

Im lingo X 2, an irish carbomb and a pirate.

IM lingo and Ali G

Car bomb, IM lingo, Borat

Only the best costume ever, GUTS

Ways to Make Money

2007-10-03T20:25:00.000-04:00

These are not logical ways to make money. These are crazy ways to make money that just might work. How? Who the hell knows and if you do know, tell me, bc Ashley needs money like you don't even KNOW. So try these out and report back. Gracias.

-Buy 2 lottery tickets everyday for the next 60 days

-Play bingo with the old folks down the street at the Y.

-Sell all the clothes in your closet on ebay.

-Sell your "paintings" on the street corner.

-Strip at the bar with the least good looking strippers so you'll make all the money.

-Trade stupid kids "a shiny quarter for that nasty dollar bill"

-Sue CocaCola for copyright infringement.

-Steal money from mall water fountains.

-Steal clothes and take them back to the store for a credit.

-Bake cookies and sell them to coworkers for $50 a pop and say they are "special"

-Sell all your dvds on the streets of NYC.

-Find someone with a boat. Put a forsale sign on it with your phone number.

-Set up your own gas station but just fill it with coke.

-Sign up for every game show.

-Sleep with a famous person and have their baby and get child support.

-Find a cure for herpes.

Happy Money Hunting.

Things That Could Have Been

2007-10-01T12:39:00.000-04:00

Today I would be in NYC. I would be moving into my small apartment on the crazy side of town, prob above an indian restaurant and hoping no one stole anything out of my moving truck. I would have been getting into the city with Sarah after a 2 day trip stopping at friends' along the way and finally making our descent into our new home. But things change. Plans fall through, you meet new people, you make new plans for yourself and your old ones disappear. That is life. And I must say, I can't be happier. I have a new part time job that I love so far, I have a great boyfriend, I'm surrounded by friends, my family is here, I know I am right where I need to be. That New York was just a silly dream, an excuse away from the mundane. But the from the moment I said I was moving, the more and more I began to realize all the things I'd be missing back here. All the love and fun that I have in Charleston would be stuck here. And I'd be thousands of miles away.

So, has it worked out for the best? Absolutely. Am I glad to still be in Charleston? 100%. I get to see my Tigers play in Death Valley this Saturday with the bf and his 'rents. What's better than that?

Songs I'm Loving

2007-09-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

I've downloaded some old, some new..but they all make me happy. And that's what really counts when looking for a great mix. And that is the mood for the month. Happy. Bc that's what I am. I no longer work at a job I don't like, I have wonderful friends, the weather is gorgeous, a great boyfriend who greets me at the end of the day, its football season and my Tigers are 2-0. What's not to love?
Songs for September:

The Good Life-Kanye West
Welcome to the good life where we like the girls who ain't on TV cause they got more ass than the models. The good life, so keep it coming' with the bottles. Now I, I go for mine, I got to shine. Now throw your hands up in the sky. Now I, I go for mine, I got to shine. Now throw your hands up in the sky

Bed- J Holiday
I wanna put my fingers thru your hair. Wrap me up in your legs. And love you till your eyes roll back. I'm tryin to put you to bed. I love it, you love it, everytime we touching, I want it, you want it, I'll see you in the morning.

Put your records on-Corinne Rae Bailey
Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright. The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. Oh, don't you hesitate. Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song. You go ahead, let your hair down.

Fly me to the moon-Frank Sinatra
Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars. In other words hold my hand, in other words darling kiss me

Bold as Love-John Mayer
My red is so confident that he flashes trophies of war, and Ribbons of euphoria. Orange is young, full of daring, but its very unsteady for the first go round.

What I Want

2007-09-07T11:46:00.000-04:00

As I sit boredly at my desk contemplating all the last minute things I need to tell the new girl who is taking over my job, I can't help but daydream about other crap instead.

Such is life.

And I was talking with my friend Marc about his new apt and things we like to do on the weekends and this spawned into an entire conversation of things that I want in life.

Like a house. I really really really want a house. A nice moderately sized house that has all the things I need. Like a wrap around porch. My first house will have a wrap around porch. It just must. I want to sit on my wrap around porch at the end of the day with the wind blowing by with a beer in my hand in a rocking chair, staring out into the street or in my backyard that overlooks the water. That is my happy place. That's where I go when I close my eyes and think of something good. It's always on that wrap around porch, rocking back in forth with a beer. Heaven.

Cops Love Me

2007-09-06T16:18:00.000-04:00

My weekend consisted of drinking, hanging over, drinking, pretending to drink, avoiding drinking, back to drinking, followed by hangover, followed by more drinking. This weekend in Clemson was the usual drunkfest complete with Beezer's subs like it always is, except for one exception. I won't bore you with the details of "we went to this bar, saw this dude, saw that girl, me this person". But I will leave you with my story called "My second time trying to skinny dip" and "really, cops at 2am?"

It goes like this.

Late Saturday (??maybe) after the bars and after not being able to get into Overtime even though we had a membership, me and the Mr. were not ready to call it a night back at Amy's apt. So we tried to get some beer and think of a place we could take it and drink. Well, we couldn't find the stashed beer, so we headed out to the Clemson dyke with nothing more than the clothes on our backs and the love in our hearts (omg that was totally ridiculous. I wasn't even headed in that direction and then I thought to myself, omg how ridiculous would it be to write that, I would sound like a total tool, so I'm keeping it). We drove out, parked off the street and walked down the scariest hill with tons of rocks til we reached the bottom near the water. I had the bright idea to go skinny dipping in the lake after Adam told stories of drunk swimming in college. So I'm butt naked, walking in the gushy sand when we see a car zoom by....which I notice has spherical objects on top that look like they might be blue and a spotlight peering out. Yes, bloggies, it was the cops. 2 of them. I tried to get back up on the rocks and put my dress back on as quickly as possible before his huge spotlight shone down. Mission accomplished....although my underwear were securely snuck in my purse. The cops were cool, told us we couldn't be there after dark and we went on our marry way...giggling the whole way back.

Last night I went to happy hour with Adam and his coworker friend. I hadn't had dinner but decided to drink some beers. 4 blue moons, I was on my ass. Drunk and having a good time. Went back to Adam's, completely passed out with my work clothes on, woke up at 2am to discover that I am in fact not at home, but at Adam's, with nothing for work the next day. My brilliant self decides to drive back home to get clothes and then drive back to sleep. Not before getting pulled over on the Ravenel bridge going 73 in a 55 with no license and no proof of insurance and a cooler full of half empty/half full beers in my backseat. Luckily, I got away with 10 over, no points, and a $76 ticket which I will now try to talk my Mtp cop buddies into getting rid of. I finally got to bed around 3am. Work is awesome.

What's my first ammendment right again?

2007-09-04T19:55:00.000-04:00

The following is a comment I received on my blog entitled "Something something Brad Paisley sucks"...This is unedited and exactly the way it was written....including the multiple misspellings and grammatical errors...which I've put in red in case Ryan is too stupid to find those mistakes because he's too busy pointing out flaws in others.

Did you ever think for one moment that you yourself are a waste of life? Just because you dont like a song or a certain artist doesnt mean that they are the devil or the cause of everything that is wrong in your pathetic little life. Just as in the manner of "Mud on the Tires", "Ticks" is also a playful way of hinting at having sex. But you are far too ignorant to try to understand music. You just assume that because you listem to different types of music that your opinion counts more than anybody elses. So go ahead and tear up a sucessful artist because your friends shitty band cant get a single and have to eat mac and cheese b/c theyve wasted their money on instruments that they cant play. Tear them up for having more money than you and a louder voice that your little blog. i'm sure youve made a difference in the world. Keep this in mind. Music is something that grows. it adapts, and it evolves for one reason. to MAKE MONEY. all labels look for is something to sell to a culture that is easily persuaded to buy what they are told to. a record lable will take a catchy song that will sell over that band eating easy mac anyday without even thinking. get with the times here, honey. I review music weekly for my college radio station and keep an open mind for all music and musicians. sadly the same cannot be said for you. your narrow mind blinds you to think that everything else sucks and that people will listen to what you have to say."Music was a product, now it is a service." welcome to the future, sweetie

Rebuttal:
1. This blog is a humor blog.
2. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to have an opinion about whatever the hell I want.
3. I understand music that is clever. Talking about looking for ticks on someone after getting drunk at a bar is neither clever nor innovative. It's cheap and pathetic.
4. I never said my opinion counted more than anyone else's. My opinion counts to people who read this blog. If you don't value my opinion, then don't read my opinions. It is as simple as that. Taking time out of your obviously busy schedule of putting people down who have opinions on certain music artists is somewhat hypocritical. You blame me for not liking a certain musical artist and put me down for putting him down. How does that make sense? You are doing the same thing...except I don't put out shitty music for the world to have to suffer through. I put out opinions. Let's look up what that word means, shall we? Opinion (n) a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
5. I'm sure whatever "college" you go to (I'm going to assume not a very good one with the way you misspelled simple words and butchered the English language) respects your fair opinions on bands. But the point of a critic is just that....to critique, good or bad. So it is perfectly okay for someone to have a negative view on pop culture, but apparently not to you. Everyone has to love everything. Well the world isn't puppies and rainbows, sorry to tell you. That, Ryan, is the real world. Welcome to it.

C-L-E-M-S-O-N

2007-08-31T11:40:00.000-04:00

I'm off to Clemson for the long weekend for the Clemson vs Fsu game. The game isn't til Monday night at 8pm, but who am I to half-ass anything. I'm going up this afternoon and will commence drinking immediately. It is just how I roll. I can't explain enough how much of a blast I am going to have this weekend. Big shout out to Amy and Fain for putting us up even though 8 other people are staying in the same townhouse and giving us our own bathroom. Ya'll are my loves.

I shall leave you with tailgating pictures from last season.

I'm a hopeless romantic

2007-08-30T15:43:00.000-04:00

Ah, love. Love love love. People often ask me what my favorite scene from a tv show is. Well, ok they don't so much as often ask me, as I just made that up. But a new promo for the upcoming season of the Office just was posted today and I was watching it and thinking about how my favorite scene of all time on a tv show is the one where Jim tells Pam he's in love with her. It's not funny, its real. Like how it would really happen in real life when you are so taken with someone that you just have to get it off your chest or you're going to burst. When you are completely in love with someone and they have to know, regardless of the consequences. And that is this scene. It's brilliant. The only other scene that mearly catches up to it in a photo finish is when Ross and Rachael makeup kiss. Not the one in the coffee shop after she tells him she has feelings for him and he's dating Julie, the one where they are watching the home video and he's standing by the door embarrassed and she kisses him.
So here folks, are the both of them. My alltime favorite first, followed by R&R.

its at 1:40 here.

My Real Timesheet

2007-08-30T08:58:00.000-04:00

Every monday, we do a timesheet at work. We write out all our billable and nonbillable time so we can send invoices to the clients and well, get paid. And every monday I write down the "administrative" duties, the "billable reports" I sent out, the "reviews" I did of CPM schedules, etc.

But what do I really do all day?

Here's a timesheet of this past week.

Monday, August 27th:

756am-10am: Get glass of water, go bathroom. Opened gmail. Check email. Respond to email. Open facebook. Open myspace. Open http://www.laineygossip.com/. Open http://www.dlisted.com/ Open http://www.bricksexplode.com/ Go bathroom and wander around. Click on every available link from bricksexplode. Open links from links I linked to off bricksexplode. Send message on gchat. Go bathroom, kind of wander around. Check facebook again. Refresh laineygossip. Open Mt dew.

10am-12pm: Chat on gmail. Send random emails. Check out ebay. Call mom. Look up Teacher Certification test schedule. Send email. Chat on gmail. Refresh laineygossip. Try a different gossip website. Refresh http://www.jasonmulgrew.com/

12pm-1pm: take nap for 15 minutes at desk while coworkers are at lunch. Refresh all websites. Send email. Check voicemail.

1pm-215pm: lunch

215-3pm: Feel like its been 4 hrs, wondering why its only been 45 minutes, send out an email to sarah telling her that exact same sentence. Complain to my gchatters about the how the day is creeping by. Send emails. Go to websites, buy random clothing. Look at new arrivals at Target.com Write a to do list of things I need before the weekend. Dream of sex and drinking.

3pm-5pm: Go to bathroom, wander around. Check mail. Open bills, separate mail. Check fax machine. Get water. Go to bathroom, wander around. Daydream about a huge margarita. Pretend to organize my desk. Play a game online. Check email, send gchats. Complain. Play with my hair. Write a blog. Look at my nails. Wash my hands. Get another mt dew. Check gym schedule. Check my bank account. Refresh gossip sites. Write a list of things I want to do when I leave work. Do myspace quiz. Play with my hair some more. Put on chapstick. Rue the day I ever took this job.

This does not include, avoiding my boss, getting mad he is whistling throughout the entire day, him telling me to do some insane thing bc he can't figure it out, complaining to me about something, telling me a story about his basketball team, signing for dhl packages, or answering obvious questions about when I said my last day was here bc they can't seem to remember any conversation we've ever had.