I have not read Twilight. I have not seen the Twilight movie. I did however, with my boyfriend and his roommate, watch New Moon last night. Although I didn't see the original movie, this did not matter. Nothing happened in this movie that needed a preface. Here are my thoughts.
-Team Jacob all the way. The biggest thing that happened in this movie were his abs.
-The entire movie is one big cock tease. They almost kiss, they almost fight, they almost leave, they almost die. THEY ALMOST MAKE A MOVIE.
-Edward is gross. His skin is gross, his body is gross, his face is gross. He's just not attractive.
-The movie didn't DO anything. Nothing actually happened in this film. Please tell me what happened, bc nothing actually happened. Oh yeah, wait, the black vampire died.
-I was looking forward to Dakota Fanning being a badass bitch. Oh look, she had 2 lines and stared at Edward for 1 minute, 3 seconds. Scene over. That was it? That's all she did?
-Anna Kendrick's character was the funniest, most personable in the entire movie. I could have gone with an entire movie with her character and Jacob. His abs and her sarcasm=win.
-Why are the secondary characters the only ones I care about? I could give 2 shits about Bella and Edward. They suck. Why do they like each other? Is it their boringness? Totes. They were equally boring. Made for each other. But I don't need an entire movie about their boringness.
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