* Always check for boogers
* Pay the extra for a good colorist.
* Don't let others make you feel guilty about hating someone. World Peace is overrated. How boring would it be if everyone liked each other? If you don't like someone, who cares? Forgiveness is also overrated.
* Get a dog.
* Plot your revenge.
* The name brand eyeshadow is worth it.
* Walk to the store.
* Read "What is the What" by Dave Eggers
* Cheer loudly for your team.
* Have sex, a lot.
* Own your weaknesses.
* Watch How I Met Your Mother
* Blare Flo Rida
* Take loooong naps in the middle of the day.
* Upgrade your cell phone.
* Brush your teeth more often.
* Make things messy.
* There's nothing wrong with having $1 in your savings. (or none)
* Take time to do absolutely nothing.
* Drive like you have to poop...really badly.
* Eat whole grains.
* Never say never.
* It's ok to love Kayne because he IS egomaniacal.
* Fall in love with Chelsey Handler.
* Every once in a while, blow $5 on a latte at Starbucks.
* It is fine to pirate music.
* Get netflix. Totally worth it.
* And Tivo.
* And a 50" HDTV
* Don't try to take your measurements with a carpenter's measuring tape.
* Check your pants before leaving the house.
* Wink at strangers.
* Being a couch potato is underrated.
* Trim often.
* Wear a scarf, just in case.
* Be picky.
* Fuck the lemons and bail.
1 comments:
the past 2 days you have been cracking me up :) glad to see you blogging again, and thanks for the laughs b/c I have needed em!
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